


Better Together

by GoldenTruth813



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Ex-Quidditch Player James, Excessive Athleisure, Falling In Love, First Time, Flying Instructor James Sirius Potter, Freckles, Friendship, Getting Together, Goat Banter, Harry Potter Next Generation, James is not a Furry, Love Confessions, M/M, Magical Theory, Professors, Queer awakening, Rimming, Romance, Sharing Clothes, Transfiguration professor Teddy Lupin, Wandless Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-24 07:03:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenTruth813/pseuds/GoldenTruth813
Summary: Teddy is perfectly content with his life as a Hogwarts professor. Sure, he gets a bit lonely sometimes, but he loves his job as much as he loves Hogwarts and his students. Everything about Teddy’s life is comfortable and safe and he likes it that way. Until the day James Sirius Potter unexpectedly shows up to teach at Hogwarts and Teddy’s life is altered irrevocably, leaving Teddy with the arduous task of examining himself and what it is he really wants.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was based off a prompt by coriesocks: _Teddy’s been a professor at Hogwarts for a few years now. Life is quiet, but good. After injury, James’ quidditch career has been cut short. He takes up a new position at Hogwarts (flying instructor/sports teacher) and Teddy’s neat, organised life is thrown into disarray._
> 
> I had so much fun writing this and looking at what it might be like for them to get together a little later in life. I cannot thank whiskeyandwildflowers enough for the alpha read, restlessandordinary for listening to me talk about this near daily, TDCatsblog for the wonderful and encouraging beta and writcraft for the britpick. You're all the best example of the kind of community and support fandom offers and you helped me make this story a reality. <3

Teddy did one last full circle, eyeing the small flat that had become his home away from home for the past few weeks.

It was a small, brightly lit flat on the top floor of the historic building that overlooked the village square. The entire flat was painted in a soft butter yellow, the odd mismatched furniture more reminiscent of a wizarding home than a Muggle one—probably why Teddy had been so taken with it in the first place—and there were several large windows that let in the warm summer air. Though the flat was tiny it had everything Teddy could want or need and he returned to it every year. His favourite thing about the flat, though, wasn’t the furniture or the colours, but the massive windows from which Teddy could lie in bed or laze about on the sofa and see the broad horizon and blue lines of the coast in the distance.

In fact, Teddy never shut any of the windows when he was here, preferring to let in the breeze even if it meant he became an insect smorgasbord when his bug repelling charms inevitably failed. He liked the way the small wind chime hanging outside the window near his bed rang soft and clear throughout the lazy summer days. He liked the subtle scent of sweetness that wafted in from the array of mosaic flowerpots on the balcony and the chatter of life from below that filtered into his flat. Teddy was so used to the busy hallways of Hogwarts and the never-ending chatter of students or professors that once term ended, he found the long stretch between July and September to be quite lonely and oppressive. The constant noises and smells were like a balm to Teddy’s soul.

The hustle and bustle of tourists was a complete juxtaposition to the serene backdrop of the soothing Italian coastline. It was as close to a second home as Teddy could know, though Hogwarts and England would always be the places that felt most like home.

No matter how much Teddy couldn’t wait to get back to Hogwarts he still felt almost sorry to leave, by now well used to the sweltering afternoons lazing about in the town square eating gelato and watching tourists or the hours spent dipping his toes in the sea. Teddy always found a kind of peace when he came back each summer, always renting the exact same flat and returning to his favourite cafes and tucked-away bookshops. The people were different every year, but the cobblestones beneath his shoes and the salt air in his lungs always remained the same. There was a sense of continuity and familiarity even in the unexpected that called to Teddy.

Despite his annual love affair with Italy, Teddy inevitably itched to get home by the time the end of August rolled around. As much as he loved the sun and sea he missed the highlands. He longed for the dense forests and mountains that surrounded Hogwarts and the chilly Scottish weather. He missed the unmovable towers of the castle, the sprawling grasslands and lake, and the magic that practically vibrated from beneath the earth. He missed Hogwarts as if it were a person—missed the magic and the land, he even missed the never-ending rain.

The mere thought of returning made some of the unease in Teddy’s stomach settle.

His fingers tingled as he waved his wand and sent his last few belongings into his suitcase, an uncomfortable itch spreading beneath his skin—as if his magic couldn’t wait to get to back to Hogwarts as much as his heart. His mouth was dry as he swallowed, a bittersweet feeling settling in his chest as he glanced once more around the sunlit room to ensure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

His fingers clenched around his wand in anticipation of his Disapparation, and he closed his eyes and inhaled once last breath of sweet, salty air. He bent down and grabbed ahold of his suitcase, and then in a flash he vanished.

When Teddy opened his eyes again he let out a heavy breath, his previous restlessness evaporating as he looked up at the gates of Hogwarts from where he’d landed directly at the edge of the Apparition wards. He tightened his hold on his suitcase, dragging his wand in practised movements across the gate tapping in precise order before taking two steps back. He waited, a soft smile on his face as the wards shuddered and weakened, the ancient gate rumbling as it swung open to admit Teddy.

He took several steps forward, crossing through the archway and onto the grounds. The wards shimmered as he stepped forward. The gate swung shut behind him with a loud clank of metal.

Teddy’s eyes lit up as he took in Hogwarts for the first time in months—the sun reflecting off the lake and the castle itself standing proudly as ever in the distance, ready for its professors and students alike to return. Teddy could sense the moment the castle accepted his presence, the previous agitation he’d felt in his own magic settling as he smiled to himself.

Teddy was home.

He passed no one on his way across the grounds and into the castle, the silence oddly eerie in a place that was usually awash in noise. Quiet had never suited Hogwarts.

Despite the silence, it didn’t escape his notice that the entire castle was alive with signs of life—the dimly lit corridors awash in spelled light, the empty classroom doors open, many of which had fires roaring already despite their emptiness, and the lines of dust that should’ve covered the portraits and suits of armour noticeably absent. Teddy knew the other professors were probably hidden away in their private quarters or perhaps still making their way back to the castle. Well, everyone but McGonagall, who Teddy knew without needing to be told had to be in the Headmistress’s office and likely had been all week. She always seemed to be around, anticipating everyone’s needs—including the castle’s—before anyone else.

He recalled stories from Harry about his youth, rare occasions when he’d spoken about Dumbledore’s presence at Hogwarts and how hard it had been for Harry to envision the school without him. Teddy assumed it must’ve felt something like this, because he was hard-pressed to imagine the school without their dutiful Headmistress—her courage, wisdom, and tenacity the clear backbone and grounding force behind Hogwarts’ continued prosperity and fortitude.

By the time Teddy had made it all the way across the sprawling castle, his feet ached, and he’d barely avoided the pesky moving staircase near the entrance of the Hufflepuff dorms that often shifted without warning. He was knackered. His own quarters were situated near the Hufflepuff common room—two corridors over and hidden behind a rather cheeky portrait of a badger that had been caught on more than one occasion mimicking rude gestures the sixth- and seventh-year students had taught it. There was always a sense of nostalgia that filled Teddy when he returned, walking the same hallways he had at seventeen when the future had seemed limitless.

Teddy’s years at Hogwarts had been some of the best of his life and one of the deciding factors in his eventual acceptance of McGonagall’s offer to teach. Teddy had gone into Auror training straight out of Hogwarts, ignoring Harry’s advice to take a year or two off to find himself and live a little and instead determined to follow in Harry and his mother’s footsteps to make the world a better place. His stint as Head Boy and his eight NEWTs had granted him almost immediate admittance to the exclusive Auror training program, and Teddy had been delighted. Near the end of the three-year training school Teddy found himself miserable, stressed to the point of sleeplessness, and struggling with uncontrolled Metamorphmagus transformations in the field—something he’d not dealt with since he was ten years old and first learning to control his abilities.

Instead of doing something about it however, Teddy shoved his feelings aside and did his best to hide his magical flares and unhappiness. He felt determined to make Harry and his mother proud, and terrified of failing to live up to the potential everyone insisted he had. _Head Boy. More NEWTs than Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger. Highest Marks in Transfiguration NEWT since Minerva McGonagall. Destined to surpass even his Godfather in the Ministry ranks one day. Universally considered Most Likely to Succeed._

The pressure to be who everyone thought he could be was crippling, and the reality that Teddy had a strong distaste for political bureaucracy and the harsh truth he might well be expected to do whatever it took to enforce the law left a bitter taste in his mouth. By the time he’d graduated and become an actual Auror, any pride he should’ve felt was dwarfed by a deep foreboding for his future. The few times he’d tentatively tried to bring up his dissatisfaction, everyone around him made jokes about _Welcome to Adulthood_ or Why do you think they call it happy hour? Teddy could only assume that most adults were just as despondent and did a good job of hiding it. The only person Teddy felt certain might empathise with him was Harry, but his fear of disappointing him when Harry seemed so excited to see Teddy at work every day meant Harry was the one person he failed to confide in.

Fewer than two years into the job, Teddy felt close to snapping—perpetually sleep deprived, isolating himself from those closest to him so they wouldn’t recognise his mounting failure to thrive as an adult in the real world, and feeling a distinct disconnect between his magic and morality. The Aurors did a lot of amazing work, and Teddy knew, on the whole, the Ministry was to be trusted, but that didn’t mean Teddy was always comfortable with their methods, their harsh systems of judgment, or their inability to effectively regulate the transition of Muggle-born witches and wizards into a world built on deeply rooted traditions. Teddy hated being an Auror and enforcing strict laws without the ability to exercise empathy, and even more, he hated using his magic against another living being regardless of whether they deserved it in the eyes of the law.

His breaking point came the day they had assigned him to a task force to catch the leader of an illegal potions ring. The red ink on the bottom of his assignment burned into his brain for all of time— ** _Use Any Force Necessary To Apprehend. Suspect is highly skilled and dangerous. All Unforgivables Authorized._**

It had paralysed Teddy with fear, bile rising in his throat and his entire body flushing with heat. He hadn’t even noticed his hair had turned an alarming shade of chartreuse until Charlie Cocker—his partner—had nudged him on the way to the lift and reminded him coloured hair on Ministry premises violated dress code article 345 Section B.

All available Aurors had been assigned to the raid, and moments before the raid began Harry had squeezed Teddy’s shoulder and given him an encouraging smile that had done nothing to stop the rise of unease he felt setting his own magic on edge. Things had only gone downhill from there, and the day had ended with Teddy suspended and Harry in St Mungo’s when his attempt to Body-Bind the suspect rather than kill had been cast at the precise moment the suspect had sent a powerful _Confringo_ straight for Teddy. Teddy had been immobilised, and the next thing he knew Harry had jumped in front of the spell. The next half hour had been nothing but screaming and chaos, and though they had caught the suspect and Harry survived, Teddy’s job hung in the balance. That didn’t matter to Teddy though: his letter of resignation had landed on his boss’s desk before the official Ministry owl bearing the details of his suspension had even made it to his flat.

Harry bruised and weak, pale against the hideous white St Mungo’s sheets, was an image that refused to leave Teddy. On Harry’s third day at the hospital, when Teddy had finally gathered the courage to visit him, Harry seemed to sense Teddy’s guilt and had too easily forgiven Teddy, his hand weakly squeezing Teddy’s as he’d whispered, “It’s okay, Teds. Everything is okay.”

Teddy had taken much longer to forgive himself, the sight of James, Albus and Lily’s tear-streaked faces as he’d left Harry’s room haunting him.

Months of nightmares no firewhisky or dreamless sleep could erase, and even more months of floundering, followed by several years abroad studying magic in other countries had left Teddy in no doubt that whatever he was looking for, he would not find it away from home. He’d eventually returned to England without a clue of what he would do or where he would live permanently. The second day he was at his Gran’s, however, a letter from Hogwarts arrived bearing McGonagall’s signature and an offer to teach Transfiguration now that she planned to step down from her position to devote all of her time to Headmistress’s duties. Despite his shock at the offer, or the idea of McGonagall reducing her workload, Teddy had taken the offer without a second thought.

He’d chalked up his impulsivity to desperation, but the truth was he knew his Gran would let him stay as long as he wanted, and McGonagall had made it clear there was no rush for him to accept. Yet Teddy had summoned a quill and signed his name before his Gran had even set the kettle to boil or sent an owl to Harry.

Hogwarts had been the one place Teddy had felt free from all the ways the wizarding world saw fit to see and label him from the day he was born—orphan, metamorph, too smart for his own good, werewolf spawn, Harry Potter’s godson. It was only at Hogwarts he had ever felt like just Teddy.

At the time he hadn’t been entirely sure if he agreed to the job because he wanted to hide from the real world, because it was a chance to feel like he was honouring his father’s love of teaching in the only way he knew how, or if the reasons it felt right were perhaps something that belonged to Teddy and Teddy alone. All he knew was that two months later he’d stood in front of the gates to Hogwarts for the first time in over five years, and it didn’t feel like running away but like coming home— a feeling that Teddy had continued to have year after year as he returned to teach.

Smiled to himself as he reached the portrait that guarded his own rooms. He spoke the password and the badger sniffled at Teddy as if horribly offended by being interrupted from the earthworm he was about to eat before the portrait swung open.

As Teddy had suspected, his rooms had recently been cleaned if the strong air of magic and lack of dust were any indicators. The fireplace in his small sitting room was lit, and there was a tray with a steaming pot of tea and a plate of sandwiches along with a jug of pumpkin juice—McGonagall’s or the house-elves’ doing. He couldn’t be sure, since both seemed intent on occasionally mothering him whether he needed it or not. This time he felt eternally grateful, plopping down onto the comfortable brown sofa and snatching one of the corned beef sandwiches off the tray before lifting his wand and muttering a familiar spell that had the juice and tea pouring themselves.

The students would arrive late tomorrow, leaving Teddy the rest of today and most of tomorrow to get his living quarters and classroom in order. It was more than enough time for him to unpack and re-catalog his book collection that he’d successfully shrunk and stowed at the bottom of his suitcase. By the time Teddy’d swallowed the last bite of his sandwich he was already feeling more settled, the warmth of the fire, the fullness in his belly, and the cozy cushions beneath his arse lulling him into an early afternoon haze. He had all of two seconds to contemplate whether it was irresponsible to take a nap before four when a knock on his portrait sounded.

Jumping off the sofa, Teddy brushed the breadcrumbs off his knitted yellow jumper, running a hand through his hair and glancing in the mirror over the fireplace to double-check it was the same color it’d been when he left Italy—light brown with subtle streaks of turquoise—before walking to the portrait and tapping the spot on the back with his wand that opened it from the inside.

Standing in front of him was Neville Longbottom, and Teddy felt the smile break out across his face before the other man had pulled him into a hug.

“Hello, Teddy,” Neville said.

It was only when Neville stepped back that Teddy noticed the pot plant held in his hands—Neville’s yearly welcome back to Hogwarts houseplant—a tradition he’d apparently started when he’d joined the teaching staff at Hogwarts long before Teddy.

Neville, like McGonagall, had a knack for sensing people’s needs before they did and had been the first person to welcome Teddy to Hogwarts with a tiny fern, a cup of tea, and an offer of friendship. Since then, Neville was always around for a chat to assure Teddy he was doing right by his students or that his parents would have been proud. Despite their age difference, Neville had rapidly become one of Teddy’s closest friends and confidants, and Teddy found it easy to understand why Harry had always talked of Neville with such high regard.

Despite Neville always taking the opportunity to cheekily remind Teddy even the sword of Gryffindor knew Neville was a true Gryffindor, Teddy was of the strong opinion that Neville’s secondary house would’ve been Hufflepuff—well, if secondary houses were a thing, which Teddy was very much of the opinion they should’ve been—and he felt a kindred spirit in Neville’s desire to use his brains before brawn, his never-ending patience, and the gentle way he guided his students to find their own inner strengths. It didn’t hurt that Neville shared a similar childhood and seemed to understand Teddy’s struggles even when Teddy himself didn’t.

“What is it?” Teddy asked when he eyed the plant, unable to hide the surprise from his voice as he noticed the tiny orange flowers. Neville usually brought him a fern because they were notoriously easy to care for and therefore Teddy couldn’t kill it with his inability to remember to water his plants or give them the proper amount of sunlight. This was _not_ a fern.

“Pimpernel,” Neville answered, handing over the small pot. Teddy lifted the flower to smell it, eyeing Neville from behind the small buds.

“It’s lovely, thank you.”

“You hate it,” Neville intoned, his chest rumbling with laughter at Teddy’s face, which was obviously not doing a good job of hiding his uncertainty.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just going to kill it. You know me and plants don’t mix so well. I don’t have a green thumb.”

“You can do a lot more than you think you can,” Neville said seriously, clapping Teddy on the shoulder. “Besides it’ll be good luck for the new school year.”

“Thanks,” Teddy said, unsure what exactly he needed luck for but grateful for Neville’s thoughtfulness all the same. The second Neville was gone Teddy immediately went to his impressive personal library and pulled out _Hagatha Hag’s Guide to Within Herbs & Fruitful Flowers_, and was even more confused when he saw that Pimpernel was a wildflower of the lily family that symbolised a major life change. He knew not everything had a hidden meaning, but Teddy had learned long ago that Neville often conveyed things with gifts that he was unable to do with words. Teddy’s curiosity kept him up half the night and distracted him most of the next day when he accidentally organised his classroom textbooks phonetically instead of alphabetically.

The meaning behind Neville’s well-intentioned gift became a lot more clear halfway through the welcome feast.

Teddy had his glass of pumpkin juice halfway to his mouth, and was intently listening to Hagrid’s long-winded worries about the recent decline of the bee community in the area and its effects on his magical herbs and fungi when a booming noise caught his attention. Or more aptly, caught the attention of every single professor and student in the room, whose heads all swiveled to the doors of the Great Hall when they unexpectedly swung open to reveal a man dressed in a ghastly bright red and black striped pair of joggers with a matching sweatshirt, the hood pulled over his head, though it had not helped protect him from the rain as he was dripping all over the floor.

Unaware of the attention he’d attracted, the stranger kicked water from his bright white trainers, pulling a wand from his pocket and tapping it over his head. There was something familiar about the way the man held his wand, the almost recognisable swirl of his wrist as he cast. Instantaneously the water evaporated in a showy swirl, and the stranger pocketed his wand before finally lifting his head. From Teddy’s vantage point it was impossible to see who it was, but then the stranger took a few more steps forward and pushed the hood off his head, and the messy head of auburn curls and toothy smile was unmistakable.

James Sirius Potter had come to Hogwarts.

The students’ reaction was instantaneous, the dull chatter erupting to a near-frenzied roar as they rose to stand on the benches and even the tops of the table to see him. Teddy was reminded of the flurry that had surrounded James as he’d flown as England’s Seeker for the World Cup two years prior—his name falling from everyone’s lips as the crowds screamed themselves hoarse. The students were now behaving much the same, several of the girls and boys looking close to fainting when James gave them an easy smile or wave as he made his way across the hall and straight towards Teddy.

The closer James got, the louder the voices became until Teddy could barely hear himself think over the shrieking hysteria in the room. James climbed up to the staff table, leaning across the table to whisper something to McGonagall that had her blushing like a schoolgirl before James lifted her hand and placed a dramatic kiss atop her hand. She swatted him away, though Teddy had the distinct impression she’d enjoyed it as she rose to stand and cast a _Sonorous_.

“Boys and girls, _silence_.” The effect was immediate as every single student dropped down into their chair and shut their mouths, though they still leaned towards the front of the room as desperate to find out what James was doing there as Teddy was. Teddy sure as fuck hoped he was doing a better job of masking his shock and curiosity, but if the amused snort Neville emitted from two seats down was anything to go by, the answer was a big fat no.

“Please contain your excitement and behave with all the decorum befitting your houses,” McGonagall instructed, looking unfazed by the mass hysteria.

“But that’s James Potter!” a fifth-year Ravenclaw boy whose name Teddy couldn’t recall screamed, looking closer to hysterics than anyone else in the room.

“Yes, it is, Mr Williams. Very astute observation.”

Williams abruptly sat down, burying his face in his hands.

“What’s he doing here?” shouted Eleanor Abbott, a brave-looking Gryffindor who’d been sorted not ten minutes prior and was apparently undeterred by Williams’s current embarrassment.

“If you would all kindly sit down and give me a moment to speak I would tell you,” McGonagall said, effectively silencing every student with a single nod of her head, her tartan hat slipping down her forehead an inch before she gingerly pushed it back up.

“Mr Potter here has kindly agreed to join our staff on late notice now that Madam Hooch has taken leave for personal issues.” Before McGonagall could finish, the students erupted in a roar of cheers that had James smiling from ear to ear as he leaned back against the staff table and crossed his arms over his chest. Teddy’s face felt as hot as the hideous flames that decorated James’s joggers as he tried to imagine James as a professor. Here. At Hogwarts. “Mr Potter will be our new Flying Instructor and has more than kindly offered to supervise Quidditch practices and offer extra training and flying lessons for those students not on their house teams who still wish to improve their skills.”

The reaction to this was nearly deafening as Williams fainted, slipping back onto the floor with a thud. Eleanor Abbott knocked over her pumpkin juice with her elbow, and a seventh-year Slytherin boy whom Teddy had only heard speak several times in the last few years let out an obscenely loud whoop.

James turned to Teddy and winked, his face awash in excitement, but Teddy couldn’t think with the onslaught of emotions assaulting him.

It wasn’t only James who had come to Hogwarts, _change_ had come to Hogwarts.

 

****

**~*~*~*~**

It wasn’t that Teddy was upset James had come to Hogwarts. It was impossible to ever feel upset about being around James. He was sociable and funny and had a way of making even the most mundane things seem fun. Not that Teddy had spent a lot of time around James recently. Given Teddy’s teaching career and James’s position as Puddlemere United’s lead Seeker for the last five years, they only times they really spent together were during holidays, and even then the Potter-Weasley clan was so large Teddy rarely spent any one-on-one time with James. They exchanged regular owls, and Teddy followed along with James’s career in the _Prophet_ and listened to all his games on the wireless. Teddy had always shared a certain closeness with James that he’d not with Albus or Lily, perhaps because James was the oldest or because James had spent a good chunk of his youth idolising Teddy—a fact that had filled Teddy with as much warmth at so obviously being James’s favourite as it had dread he might not be the person James seemed so certain he was. It’d been a long time since they’d spent much time together in person. As much as Teddy welcomed the sight of a familiar face at Hogwarts, he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive as his mind flooded with memories of growing up with an overexcitable godbrother who seemed to either want to be Teddy’s shadow or the center of attention.

James’s dramatic entrance during the welcoming feast had been as shocking as it was amusing, but Teddy couldn’t help but fear just that it might be indicative of James’s future behavior. They weren’t children anymore and real life wasn’t all fun and games.

This wasn’t going to be like summer holidays where James’s idea to host an impromptu ice cream contest in the garden would seem like a good way to pass the time. Teddy’d chundered quite forcibly afterwards from eating too much ice cream, though beating James was still one highlight of that summer. Nor was it like Christmas holidays where James trotting around the Potter house in nothing but his pants and the most ridiculous Christmas jumper Teddy had ever seen with enchanted mistletoe hanging above his head would be considered appropriate.

James often had outlandish and wild ideas, and while Teddy had always appreciated James’s vigour and enthusiasm for life, James hadn’t always been the most practical of people. Teddy had a hard time imagining James’s desire to always have fun meshing with the rigours and responsibilities of being a professor.

It was a thought Teddy did his best to push aside, because he knew that when push came to shove, James’s motivations for everything he did were always the best, and the flurry of excitement in his students was undeniable.

Of course his nagging anxiety became impossible to ignore as the week went on, and rather than die down, the excitement around James’s arrival and appointment to staff only seemed to grow with each day.

“Teddy. Earth to Teds!” James intoned, waving a hand in front of Teddy’s face and breaking him out of his thoughts. It was only then that Teddy realised he was standing in the middle of the crowded first-floor corridor blocking the way because of his ruminations.

“Hey,” Teddy breathed, heart rate increasing at the sight of James in front of him smiling brightly. Teddy felt hard-pressed to reconcile some of his outlandish memories of James with the living and breathing James standing in front of him grinning while wearing the most hideous athleisure Teddy had ever seen.

“I wanted to talk to you,” James said, reaching his hand out to clap Teddy on the shoulder but missing by a few inches when two lost first years slammed into him, causing him to stumble backwards.

“Sorry!” they yelled in unison, jumping up and squeaking when they realised who it was they’d bumped into. The both turned bright red and scampered away without a word.

“I’ve got class,” Teddy answered once James looked at him again, hoping that it didn’t sound like an excuse. Teddy found it hard to believe that it’d been nearly five full days since James’s arrival, and he’d yet to have a decent conversation with him. He’d known James would be popular, just not _this_ popular. “Later?”

“Right, of course,” James said, shuffling his feet backwards once Teddy started walking again so he could keep his eyes on Teddy. “Maybe tomorrow? After the staff meeting? We could catch up, just the two of us.”

“Definitely, Jamie,” Teddy answered, surprised at the almost bashful smile it earned him. He could not say anything else as a horde of fourth-year Ravenclaws surrounded James and peppered him with questions.

“Bye, Teddy,” James mouthed, waving as Teddy passed him by. Teddy waved back, feeling lighter than he had all week, a feeling Teddy hoped to carry throughout the day, especially since the only lessons Teddy had on Fridays were his NEWT-level seventh years. At least he could count on them to be composed and diligent.

He’d spent the entire week being unable to hold any of his students’ attention—especially the first- and second years—for over five minutes without them dissolving into giggles and whispers. Each time Teddy did his best to keep their eyes on him with an impressive bit of Transfiguration before the nitty-gritty of magical theory began, but it was never long before one student raised their hand to ask if Teddy really knew James. Once that first question was out the students became relentless and Teddy—knowing it was better to get them all out of the way now rather than drag the speculation out for weeks—merely sat on the edge of the desk to field questions rather than shut them down. This meant he’d spend most of every lesson over the last four days fielding the most inane questions about James. _Did Mr Potter really win England the World Cup? Did you know him when he was a baby? Is Mr Potter as nice and funny as he seems? Have you ever seen Mr Potter play a real game? Do you think Mr Potter will give us a flying demonstration? Are you and Mr Potter best friends? Has Mr Potter really broken every bone in his body? Is Mr Potter sad he can’t play professionally anymore?_

The only time Teddy stopped the questions was when some of the more bold fifth and sixth years asked things like: _How many freckles does Mr Potter have?_ and _Do you know if Mr Potter is dating someone?_

Not that Teddy was surprised by the directions the questions always ended up taking. James was as close to a celebrity as the wizarding world got, his fame and infamy at times surpassing even Harry’s. James’s talent on the Quidditch pitch was matched only by his winning smile and ability to charm the public. James was not only likeable and easy on the eyes but wickedly talented too. Not only had he led Puddlemere United to five consecutive winning seasons and helped England secure the World Cup for the first time in over a century, he’d also been named _Witch Weekly’s_ Most Eligible Bachelor six years running and was regularly featured in the society pages of the _Daily Prophet_ doing everything from training for a game to buying a packet of crisps at Tescos.

Everything James did was fodder for his seemingly endless popularity and served to further feed the public’s infatuation with him.

The wizarding world couldn’t seem to get enough of James Sirius Potter, not even after a career-ending injury at the Quidditch finals four months ago when James had fallen off his broom after being hit by both Bludgers. He’d caught the Snitch mere moments before tumbling over one hundred feet to a painful near demise. Magic could fix many things—including James’s numerous broken bones and immense internal damage—but some things were beyond the scope of even magic.

Though the press never got ahold of the true story behind James’s unexpected career end and often attributed it to fear of failure, Teddy knew the truth. He’d been there in the hospital as Harry and Ginny and Albus and Lily had paced the corridors, had seen James’s pale and battered body first-hand lying atop the stark white bedsheets far more still than James should ever be. He the Healers had let James know in no uncertain terms that his years of magically repairing his body from sports injuries had caused irreversible damage. The excessive bone regrowth had meant that James had begun to amass clusters of calcification in his joints along with weak spots from repeated regrowth. Though bones could be regrown, they were never meant to be regrown as many times as some Quidditch players needed, especially those who flew without fear or hesitation. James was fearless, but he was also human, and years of Bludgers and falls had left James’s insides worse for the wear. The Healers had told him that even magic had its limits, and if James continued to play professionally and put himself in danger of more death-defying falls or vicious Bludger attacks, they could not help him the next time. As far as the public knew, James had voluntarily retired early, but Teddy knew the truth.

Even though Teddy could understand the wizarding world’s continued fascination with James in theory nothing could’ve prepared him for what happened in his last class of the day.

“Welcome to your NEWT-level Transfiguration class,” Teddy said, back turned to the Gryffindor and Slytherin students filing into his classroom as he rearranged the pile of papers on the corner of his desk. When he turned around, smiling and expecting to have the rapt attention of the lucky few who’d secured a seat in his class, it was to see half of them huddled in the back of the classroom near the windows overlooking the greenhouses. Alicia Bellchant, one of his top students and usually the first one to sit down front and center, had an unnatural blush on her cheeks and her eyes were wide as she frantically whispered something to her best friend, Trevor. Trevor Cresswell was Head Boy, most likely to turn in his assignments early, and also apparently trying to shove his face through the glass windowpanes for reasons Teddy couldn’t even begin to guess.

Teddy cleared his throat and smiled wider. Several students jumped, turning to look at Teddy before scurrying to their seats and slamming their books on the table. Despite the clatter, Alicia and Trevor remained fixated on the back window, and Teddy shook his head fondly, recalling the difficulty of getting back into the routine of school after several months of lazy summer days.

“Ms Bellchant and Mr Cresswell, please take or your seats before I’m forced to Transfigure them into a train to come collect you,” Teddy said, expecting at least Alicia—who usually found his cheesy jokes quite funny—to laugh. Instead her eyes went even wider before Trevor tugged on her robe sleeve and dragged her into the two nearest seats in the far back of the classroom.

Teddy couldn’t recall a time when either student had willingly given up seats in the front of his class. Chalking it up to a fluke, Teddy pulled his wand from his robe and and tapped the stack of parchment on the corner of his desk. The papers began to shake, and Teddy fought back a smile as he watched most of the students lean on their elbows to look closer. The papers continued to flutter until they unexpectedly twisted and crumpled before the pop of magic echoed loudly and the entire room was bathed in hundreds of tiny, fluttering white butterflies.

“Wicked, Mr Lupin,” Billy Greengrass said, his eyes alight with excitement.

Beside him Gabby Grimblehawk was furiously taking notes, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as splotches of ink splashed atop the desk and the corner of her parchment. Even Harry Hornby, Jade Kettleburn, and Gary Vane—the three students who had just barely scraped by enough marks for this class—were pulling out their quills and parchment. The butterflies hung midair as Teddy swirled his wand with more flourish than was strictly necessary. The butterflies followed the movement of his wrists, forming a line and flying across the classroom in what Teddy privately felt was a rather impressive and precise show of magic. If called on it Teddy would deny showing off, but he knew it wasn‘t far from the truth.

NEWT-level classes were some of Teddy’s favourite, and while he sympathised with the stress and rigour the students were under for their last year, he also appreciated the skill, genuine curiosity, and drive to understand the magical theory behind some of the most complex Transfigurations. It was a thrill for Teddy to have the opportunity to execute some of the more complex spells in his repertoire and know that not only would the students visually appreciate the demonstrations, but that they would understand the control and concentration necessary to maintain the complex Transfiguration.

Teddy was so focused on the butterflies he took a long moment to realise Trevor had inched his seat backward away from the table and was not so subtly inching his chair back towards the windows.

“Mr Cresswell, please keep your feet on the floor and your chair where it belongs at the table unless you’d like me to ask you to move. I trust my NEWT-level students to be capable of concentration without reminders.”

Trevor looked properly chastised as he loudly scooted his chair back across the floor with the eyes of every single student on him. The butterflies continued to swirl above Teddy’s head, and Teddy waited until every eye was on him before tapping his desk and watching the butterflies fall atop the desk in a shower of fluttering wings before shifting back into a stack of ungraded papers—not a single one out of place.

“This year’s courseload will be the most intense you’ve had yet. I will not lie to you, it will be tough. I will expect a lot from you all because I know that all of you are more than capable of it. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be sitting before me. I won’t ask you to do anything I am not sure you do not have the capacity for, which means that I expect an equal amount of respect given to me. If you are struggling or need help, my classroom is always open, but I will not tolerate apathy or excuses. I expect you all to give me your best in every class and in every piece of homework, and in turn I promise to offer you all the support and guidance you will need to successfully pass your NEWTs.”

Most of the students looked nervous, some more excited than others, and Teddy felt a swell of pride as he looked at all of their familiar faces. He’d met these kids when they were shy and bumbling second years, and here they were close to leaving Hogwarts as capable witches and wizards. He was so proud of them.

“Mr Lupin,” Alicia said, hand in the air.

“Yes, Ms Bellchant?” Teddy asked, leaning back against his desk.

She dropped her hand to her desk and glanced around the room. She hesitated when she realised the smattering of students had stopped looking at Teddy and were now looking at her.

Teddy smiled warmly, by now used to her occasional bashfulness. “What do I always say? The only bad questions are the ones you don’t ask.”

Alicia squared her shoulders, her voice quiet and her eyes big. “Does Mr Potter have freckles everywhere?”

The effect was instantaneous as the students went silent for all of five seconds before Trevor looked close to choking on his own spit and Gabby looked like she might need a set of smelling salts soon.

“I meant academic questions, Ms Bellchant,” Teddy said, forcing his voice to remain neutral. Despite his week having been dominated by endless James questions, he still hadn’t expected that one and certainly not from his top student.

The last time Teddy could recall seeing James naked was when James was four years old and had been going through his I-hate-clothing phase and was often seen racing around the house cackling as Harry or Ginny chased him with a pair of pants begging him to get dressed before the company came over. Teddy’d been ten years old at the time, and the last thing he’d been concerned about was whether his little godbrother had freckles on the arse he seemed determined to show everyone.

“Sorry, Mr Lupin,” she said, ducking her head and making her mess of blonde hair fall into her eyes.

“It’s alright, I know James’s arrival—I mean Mr Potter’s—is cause for a lot of excitement and—”

Trevor of all people interrupted Teddy. “So you know Mr Potter very well then?”

Teddy sighed. “Yes, but I don’t see—”

“Does that mean you do know if he has freckles everywhere?” Gabby asked again boldly.

Unbidden, the image of James’s Christmas-themed photoshoot for _Witch Weekly_ last year to raise money for St Mungo’s children’s ward rose to the forefront of Teddy’s mind. James hadn’t been naked there, but he had been shirtless and wearing nothing but his fingerless leather quidditch gloves and a pair of skin-tight trousers that left very little to the imagination. It was the first time Teddy could recall grasping exactly how much little Jamie Potter had grown up as he’d stared at the tattoo peeking out above his low-slung trousers—a tiny fluttering Snitch encircled by a constellation of freckles. Teddy had not wanted to admit to anyone, even himself, that he had wondered where else James might have freckles. It was a thought he’d rid himself of as swiftly as possible, until his students had made him unable to forget daily.

Not that Teddy had any issues admitting James was attractive. Merlin, was he attractive. It was that he didn’t feel right right infringing on James’s privacy even if only in his own thoughts.

“Yeah, does he?” Gary asked, looking surprisingly invested in the answer. The rest of the students looked equally curious.

Teddy set his wand on the desk and scrubbed at his face with both hands, watching helplessly as the wisps of hair falling into his eyes changed into a shade of red that probably matched Teddy’s cheeks. He blew out a breath and crossed his arms as he stood up. “This isn’t an appropriate line of questioning, and I’d expect students of your age to show a bit more decorum. Mr Potter is one of the Hogwarts professors now, and his personal life is his own business. I expect you all to treat him as you would any other professor, which includes respecting his personal life and privacy and—”

“James Potter is naked!” Trevor shouted, and it was only then that Teddy realised he’d somehow managed to wiggle his chair halfway across the room in the last minute or two without Teddy noticing. In fact, Trevor was standing on the chair, his hands pressed up against the window as he peered out onto the lawn. Before Teddy could even process his statement, every single one of his students was rushing to the back of the class—chairs upturned, parchment fluttering to the floor, and a rather pretty quill snapped in half beneath the heel of Gabby’s patent leather shoes.

“He’s shirtless!”

“He’s gorgeous!”

“Merlin, he’s strong!”

Teddy shook his head in bewilderment unsure how on earth he’d lost control of his class so rapidly as he crossed to the back of the room. “Back to your seats now,” he said in a voice more stern than he was used to needing to use with the upper levels. His unexpected tone had absolutely no effect. Not for the first time he wondered if his father had ever struggled to maintain his students’ attention like this.

Not a single student seemed to hear him, too busy giggling and whispering, and they shoved each other in an attempt to get the better view out of the window. Unable to mask his own disbelief or curiosity Teddy strode over to the window determined to find out what ridiculous thing James had done now.

The truth surprised even Teddy.

James was lugging a massive pot plant containing what looked like a giant venomous tentacula across the lawn towards greenhouse six as Professor Sprout trotted along beside him. Teddy knew from experience when he’d offered to help Neville and Professor Sprout clear out greenhouse four two summers ago that the plants in there were less than friendly.

Despite Trevor’s hysteria, James was not even close to naked, although he was shirtless. Even from the third floor the muscles in his back and freckles dotting along the curve of his spine were visible. Teddy cleared his throat, but no one seemed to have noticed he was standing directly behind them.

“Merlin, he’s fit,” someone said, though Teddy couldn’t tell who since they were all squished together and trying to get an eyeful of James, who was doing nothing more than help move plants from one greenhouse to another.

Several students sighed out their agreement, and if Teddy weren’t mistaken, he would have sworn Trevor _swooned_. Alicia and Gabby Summoned two chairs and climbed onto them to see over the other students’ heads, blocking Teddy’s view of the greenhouses and James.

Teddy didn’t think things could get more ridiculous, which honestly should have been his first sign that things _could_ get more outlandish, because James was James and a Potter and in Teddy’s thirty-four years of experience, people seemed to have an inability to behave rationally around him. The only other person Teddy had ever seen get anything close to the reaction James got was Harry. But Harry absolutely hated his infamy, and the moment James had come of age and people realised that unlike his father he flourished under the attention, the public almost instantly focused all of their scrutiny on him. The wizarding world turned its eyes on James and never looked back.

“What’s he doing?” Alicia asked no one in particular, pressing her face into the window with such force her entire face was smashed in a way that would‘ve been comical if Teddy hadn’t felt his agitation rising at his inability to regain his students’ attention.

There was shrieking and Teddy, frustrated with his inability to get a clear view of what it was James was doing now, Transfigured the nearest chair into an oversized step stool and climbed up the four steps to peer over his students’ heads.

James was standing in the middle of the lawn, the pot plant and Professor Sprout noticeably absent now as he pulled his t-shirt from the waistband of his joggers and used it to wipe the sweat from his brow. Then he pulled what appeared to be a Muggle hair tie off his wrist before running his fingers through his curls and pulling most of his hair back into a messy bun, small curls falling down near his eyes and ears. Someone let out an inhuman noise that sounded like a dying Erumpent, and Teddy had a moment of panic wondering if the noise had come from his own mouth. James reached for the wand in his back pocket next, his lips moving in an unheard spell before water shot out of the end of his wand. James held it aloft, tilting his head and opening his mouth to gulp the water down greedily—rivulets spilling from his full lips and dripping down his neck before cascading down the planes of his chest and stomach.

Teddy’s stomach flipped as he watched, unable to deny that while he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary and it wasn’t his fault, James’s existence was quite distracting.

As if they’d completely forgotten Teddy was there, the students began to talk in hushed voices.

“Merlin, I want him to teach me to fly,” Gabby muttered.

“I want him to teach me anything,” Trevor said.

“You think he’s dating anyone?” Gary asked.

“What’s it matter to you? You’re dating someone, Gary,” Trevor shot back.

“Yeah, I’m dating someone who won’t take her eyes of Potter,” he said, looking particularly bent out of shape as he stared morosely at the back of Gabby’s head.

“Don’t be silly Gary, you know how much I fancy you. But Potter is—”

“Potter is Potter,” Trevor proclaimed as if that explained everything.

Apparently it did because every student beside Gary bobbed their heads in agreement, their eyes still riveted to James as he dropped to the grass and stretched, which would have been fine if he’d done normal human stretches like bending to touch his toes or his knees or something. Instead, he reached back to grab his foot and pulled it over his head with his other leg straight out and Teddy’s brain, which had been on the fritz before, short circuited completely as he stared in wonder, unsure how it was possible for someone to move their body in that position.

“Mr Lupin, are you okay? Maybe you need some water too. Are you thirsty?” Gary asked in a tone of voice that Teddy was absolutely sure was not innocent.

Every single one of his students spun around to stare at him, their mouths agape in surprise or smiling as Teddy coughed and realised that not only was he standing on a platform to ogle James, he’d not stopped any of his students from doing the same.

“That’s enough for one day, everyone back to their seats immediately unless you all want to start this term off with a detention and a foot-long essay this weekend,” Teddy said, wondering how much of his dignity he could keep as he climbed down the stairs and pulled at the collar of his robe wondering when his classroom had become so unbearably hot and why in the fuck he’d worn such a thick knitted jumper under his robes today. “Now,” Teddy added when no one moved.

Teddy quickly untransfigured the stool, clearing his throat and ignoring the stares of the students around him and swallowing down the swell of embarrassment rising in him.

There was a two second delay before the students practically fell all over themselves to get back to their seats. This time Trevor and Alicia made a beeline for the front row, and though Teddy thought no one would dare go near the window, he still flicked his wand towards them and Transfigured the row of spell books into curtains to cover them just the same.

No one mentioned James the rest of the class, but they didn’t need to because Teddy couldn’t stop thinking about him.


	2. Chapter 2

Teddy felt his head drooping as he forced his eyes wider in a futile attempt to regain his focus. He’d been sitting on the sofa for the last two hours, and Teddy didn’t think he could handle reading one more poorly written essay from his third years who had clearly decided that the first essay of the semester didn’t matter.

The knock on the portrait came just as Teddy felt close to shoving the pile of essays under the sofa and pretending he’d lost them. 

Teddy stood, ignoring the cracking in his knees and back and mentally chiding himself for his inactivity the last few days. Merlin, sometimes he felt closer to sixty than his early thirties. He shoved his feet into his slippers before glancing at his dressing gown thrown over the arm of the sofa and grabbing it. It was likely just one of his students, but he wasn't sure he wanted them to see the worn pyjamas he’d put on half an hour ago once he’d felt certain he wasn’t going to be needed for the rest of the night.

The person on the other side knocked twice more.

“Hold on!” Teddy yelled, shoving his arms into the dressing gown and pulling it shut, tying the strap around his waist snugly as he walked to the portrait. Once he was close enough to hear the voice of the person on the other side arguing with his portrait Teddy didn’t need to open it to know who was on the other side.

“Hello, James,” Teddy said as the portrait swung open to reveal a rather petulant-looking James.

Unlike Teddy, James was still dressed for the day—if never-ending athleisure counted as being dressed. Teddy had thought James’s affection for sportswear was something that would fade once he settled into his role as professor, but it’d been nearly two weeks since he’d come to Hogwarts and Teddy had yet to see a single robe on James. No matter when or where James was spotted, he was always wearing some variation of joggers or leggings, cotton t-shirts, and hoodies. Teddy had even heard Flitwick telling Neville that James had taught his first years to fly in a pair of midnight blue joggers with tiny gold Snitches on them, something none of the students had stopped talking about since. The very next day Teddy had seen no less than nine pairs of Snitch joggers peeking out from beneath his students’ robes.

Tonight James was wearing a slim-fitting pair of plain black joggers that stopped just above his black trainers and showed off the pale skin of his ankles. His top was a simple grey t-shirt for once devoid of any designs or stripes. It was the simplest thing Teddy had seen him in yet,and the effect was not lost on Teddy. Without the wild clothing James looked different—younger somehow—his chin length waves pulled back in a loose ponytail and several stray curls falling into his eyes.

Quite unexpectedly, Teddy was struck by James’s attractiveness, which was ridiculous because Teddy had known James his entire life. He’d seen him go from a freckled-faced toddler with front teeth bigger than his forehead to a gangly teenager to a handsome young man. Teddy had watched James grow and had known for years that James was handsome. But Teddy had always seen it as some sort of fact the entire wizarding world knew—an objective but undeniable truth.

But now, with James standing in front of him in the most unassuming running clothing at a quarter past ten on a Friday night Teddy had the most illogical and unwelcome thought that James was _beautiful._

“Gryffin hates me,” James said as he pocketed his hands and rocked on his heels.

Teddy’s eyebrows knitted up in confusion. “Who’s Gryffin?”

“Your portrait, obviously. I told him the password three times, and he refused to let me in.”

Teddy couldn’t contain his snort of derision. “You named my badger Gryffin? No wonder he wouldn’t let you in.”

“It’s a perfectly reasonable name.”

“You’re in the Hufflepuff corridor talking to the portrait of a badger that Helga Hufflepuff herself had commissioned as part of her house crest and you named it _Gryffin_.”

James pulled his right hand out of his pocket and waved it in Teddy’s general direction. “Details, Tedward. Besides you’ve been teaching here for six years and you clearly hadn’t named him yet, so really this is all your own fault. Had you had the wherewithal to choose a name for him yourself we wouldn’t have found ourselves in this precarious situation.” 

“And what situation is that?” Teddy asked, his previous fatigue fading fast in the face of his own burgeoning amusement.

“The situation where I’m stuck in the corridor cold and hungry because Gryffin refused to let me in.”

“Sounds pretty tragic,” Teddy said with mock concern, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.

James let out a choked laugh. “Teddy Lupin, aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

Teddy turned his right hand as he pretended to examine his nails. “I don’t know, James. My portrait is usually an excellent judge of character. Perhaps I ought to really pause and examine his bias here.”

James snorted at that. “Let me in old man.”

Teddy grinned, stepping back to make enough room for James, who slipped in easy. Teddy turned around and followed him, the portrait swinging shut behind them as James moved into Teddy’s small sitting room.

“Oh Merlin, this is even worse than I thought.”

“What?” Teddy asked.

James spun around, his arm held out towards the small coffee table where the pile of essays Teddy had been working his way through were spread out along with an empty teacup and a plate bearing the evidence of his having ingested close to nine biscuits in lieu of a real dinner.

“It’s a Friday night and you’re stuck in here alone marking papers.”

“I’m a professor, James. It’s my job.”

“It’s your job to teach, it’s not your job to have absolutely no life outside of your students.” From anyone else the words would’ve stung, but from James there was unmistakable teasing in his tone. Teddy knew that James wasn’t judging him, though, James’s teasing was a bit too close to the truth.

Teddy cleared his throat as he shifted awkwardly. Teddy loved his job. He loved helping students learn and grow, and he loved living at Hogwarts. But outside of chatting with the other professors at mealtimes or staff meetings, he spent the majority of his time every single day talking to students or holed up in his quarters or classroom grading or reading. Teddy’s life was quiet and structured, and that was mostly just fine with him. The quieter it was, the less likely it was Teddy could make some sort of monumental mistake like the one that had nearly killed his godfather.

“You missed dinner today,” James said as he walked around the back of Teddy’s sofa. Teddy could see the wheels turning in James’s brain as he eyed the empty teacup and plate. 

“I lost track of time,” Teddy said, which wasn’t far from the truth. He’d fallen asleep, and by the time he woke up he wasn’t at all in the mood to run across the castle with five minutes to eat. He’d settled for eating the last packet of biscuits he’d brought with him from Italy and making a cup of tea with a Transfigured kettle and teacup and a crumpled teabag he’d found in the pocket of his favorite knitted jumper.

James turned his eyes on Teddy as he plopped down onto the sofa. “And why are you wearing pyjamas?”

Teddy looked down at himself. “It’s night time what else should I be wearing?”

“You should be dressed at all times for the endless possibilities of adventure and intrigue. Someone might figure out how to re-open the Chamber of Secrets, or maybe the students will wake up to discover the house elves have all gone on strike and there’s not going to be anything for breakfast tomorrow, leaving everyone to flounder and eat cold beans on toast. Or maybe a secret admirer will come to your door and whisk you away for a secret rendezvous.” James could barely contain his mirth by the time he was finished speaking. 

He had the same look in his eyes he used to get when they were children and he would follow Teddy around begging him to play Deathly Hallows, or help him build a fort, or to be his partner in crime in a futile attempt to steal sweets before dinner. Over the years as Teddy got older his willingness to go along with James’s games had faded; he’d got himself a girlfriend and grown-up responsibilities, and the time for playing had ended for him long before it did for James. 

Even at Hogwarts James had been guileless and headstrong and always full of conviction. He’d been positive anything were possible back then and that everything should always be fun. Teddy’d been sure James would lose that wide-eyed wonder one day. Yet there he stood, twenty-eight years old and talking of adventure again.

“A secret admirer, huh?” Teddy asked, fighting back his own smile. James was so ridiculous it was impossible not to smile.

“You never know. I mean, I know you’re determined to look the part of a professor in your old man jumpers, but you’re quite fit, Teddy. You could have anyone you wanted.”

Teddy swallowed, unsure why James’s joking made his heart race faster. 

“I like my jumpers,” he mumbled, pulling on the belt of his dressing gown.

“I like them too,” James said, and this time there wasn’t an ounce of teasing.

“What are you doing here so late?” Teddy asked, trying to clear his brain of unwanted thoughts about the way James was currently looking at him as if he’d never seen him before.

“Late?” James croaked dramatically. “Late! Teddy, it’s it’s barely nine at night.”

Teddy shifted on his feet. “That’s...lateish.”

James shook his head, jumping up from the sofa and stalking towards Teddy’s bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Teddy asked, following behind him. James didn’t seem at all concerned that he'd never been inside the bedroom part of Teddy’s quarters, going straight through the archway and pushing open the door. He paused in the doorway for only a few seconds, eyeing up the room, which made Teddy grateful he’d cleaned that morning, before going for Teddy’s wardrobe.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing?” Teddy asked again, sitting on the edge of his bed and watching with amusement as James began to rifle through his clothing.

“Merlin’s beard, where did you even find some of these?” James asked, holding up one of Teddy’s most-worn jumpers—a gift Lily had made him for Christmas last year with an oversized cowl neck and large buttons down the left side in a mustard yellow. It was strange and attention-grabbing and wickedly soft. Teddy loved it. In fact the entire reason he loved most of his jumpers was because he liked wearing things no one else had.

“If you’re going to insult my clothing you can leave,” Teddy laughed.

James paused, turning to peer at Teddy over his shoulder. “Are you kidding me? They’re absolutely ridiculous. I love them.”

“Oh,” Teddy said in surprise. He watched as James rummaged around some more, muttering under his breath about something that sounded very much like _you can take the boy out of Hufflepuff but you can’t take the Hufflepuff out of the boy_ as he pulled out yet another yellow jumper. That one was cashmere and a soft butter yellow that Harry had gifted him the year he’d accepted the teaching position at Hogwarts. It was Teddy’s favorite jumper in the entire wardrobe, because it’d been an unexpected gift at a time when Teddy had felt he didn’t deserve one, and because though Harry refused to admit it, Teddy had it on good authority he’d enchanted it. No matter how many times Teddy wore or washed it the jumper looked brand new. Even better, Teddy could wear it in the middle of a snowstorm or on a warm summer day and he never felt cold or hot. 

Teddy knew from personal experience during his brief stint as an Auror that these were likely the same charms reserved for use by the Auror department and the Auror department alone. They were charmed into the very fabric of the robes along with various spells and enchantments to deflect dark magic. Teddy also knew these spells were not technically public knowledge and had only been developed by the Unspeakables and put into use the same year he’d left the department. The spells wouldn’t legally become public until the statue of development and protection the Unspeakables had filed on them ran out in exactly seventy-one years.

“This new?” James asked, rubbing the material of the jumper between his fingers.

“No,” Teddy answered quietly.

James shrugged his shoulders and tossed it to Teddy. “Alright, well put it on, old man.”

“What for?” Teddy asked, already standing up and shrugging off his dressing gown.

“Because we’re—” James started, snapping his mouth shut the second he’d spun around to face Teddy clutching a pair of jeans that Teddy quite honestly hadn’t even realized he’d owned.

“What?” Teddy asked feeling self-conscious, something he rarely felt, especially around James.

“Your pyjamas,” James said, voice cracking.

Teddy looked down at himself and groaned, covering his face with his hands. He’d completely forgotten what pyjamas he was wearing.

“Teds,” James started, walking over and tapping his fingers on the back of Teddy’s hands. Teddy shook his head refusing to remove his fingers. “Knock, knock. Is ickle Teddy in there? Does he need some warm milk and a blankie?”

“Fuck you,” Teddy said, dropping his hands and standing up straighter. 

“Where did you even find babbitty rabbit pyjamas in your size? I thought they only sold those in the wee wizarding wares section of Madam Malkin’s.”

“Lots of adults still like babbitty rabbit,” Teddy said, yanking the sleep shirt off his head without preamble and pulling the yellow jumper on instead.

James cleared his throat, spinning around to give Teddy a bit of privacy, and Teddy dropped his pyjama bottoms to the floor and kicked them aside, mentally reminding himself it might be time to buy a pair of pyjamas that didn’t have babbitty rabbit hopping through an enchanted cabbage patch on them. He pulled his wand from his robe pocket before Summoning his shoes.

“You can turn around now,” Teddy told him, unconsciously brushing his hands down his chest to smooth out nonexistent wrinkles. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the tips of his hair had begun to turn the exact shade of his jumper. 

“Well, don’t you clean up well, Monsieur Lupin,” James said with an exaggerated accent and half a bow.

Teddy shook his head with fondness. “Alright mystery man, where exactly are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” James said. He shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned at Teddy impishly. 

James looked almost nervous, and Teddy tried to recall a single time James had seemed uncertain about anything. He chalked it up to the uncertainty of James still settling into his role as a professor. Teddy knew it had certainly taken him a few months to stop feeling like he was a student again or was visiting and to realise that he was now a person of authority to the students.

“Oh Merlin,” Teddy groaned, immediately recalling the last time James had surprised him, when he had visited Teddy in Greece during the school holidays. A surprise that had ended up with the loss of their clothing, the acquisition of more gelato than any one person should ever consume, and surprisingly no law enforcement.

“It’s a good surprise, I swear,” James promised, a stray lock of hair falling into his eyes as he gave Teddy his most winning smile—a smile that had recently broken Gilderoy Lockhart’s record for the most consecutive wins for _Witch Weekly's_ Most Charming Smile award. It was a smile that usually got James exactly what he wanted, and tonight was going to be no different.

“So do you trust me, Teddy?” he asked, removing his left hand from his pocket and holding it out towards him.

“Yes,” Teddy answered easily. Because for all he was beginning to suspect he didn’t know James half as well as he’d always assumed he did, the one constant was that he had complete and utter faith in him. He knew without a shred of doubt that James Sirius Potter was someone to be trusted. He was as honest as he was attractive, which Teddy was beginning to realise had only increased with age.

Of course, half an hour later Teddy very much regretted saying yes to James. 

“This bloody thing wasn’t meant for two grown men,” Teddy hissed, the sound of his own feet shuffling along against the stone floor of the second floor corridor obscenely loud even to his own ears.

“Shh,” James hissed, stopping them both in their tracks as he stayed rooted to the spot. Teddy held his breath as he listened, the weight of the invisibility cloak suddenly suffocating as he imagined being caught prowling the corridors with James like an out-of-bed fourth year. Worse still, he imagined being caught by McGonagall, who probably thought Teddy was too mature for ridiculous antics like this, or by Atalina whom Teddy had yet to get a good read on despite this being her third year teaching Defence. 

“Why did you shush me?” Teddy asked when it became clear that the only sounds he could hear were his and James’s laboured breathing as they shared the stuffy air.

“You wouldn’t stop talking,” James answered, beginning to walk again. Somehow James’s trainers didn’t seem to be making nearly as much noise on the stone floor as Teddy’s brogues were, and Teddy wished very much he’d worn his own unused pair of running shoes. He knew were hidden in his wardrobe beneath the black hoodie Albus once gave him that Teddy had never once worn but felt reluctant to get rid of nonetheless.

“This cloak isn’t big enough for both of us, James,” Teddy said again. 

“Maybe if you’d stopped growing like a normal person when you turned eighteen instead of becoming an overgrown asparagus,” James snorted, reaching his hand behind him to poke Teddy in the stomach. 

“Oi, just because you’re short as a stack of pancakes doesn’t mean I’m too tall,” he laughed.

James stopped unexpectedly, causing Teddy to crash into his back once more. Before Teddy could ask what was wrong now, James was spinning around so abruptly the cloak began to slip off. Teddy scrambled to grab ahold of of the silky material, fisting his hands in it as James’s bony finger was once again shoved into the soft flesh of his stomach.

“I’m five foot nine and a half, thank you very much. Which is half an inch more than the national average, which puts me as above average. Besides—”

“Quiet,” Teddy whispered as he saw the flicker of wand light coming down the corridor.

“What—” James began, but Teddy silenced him with a single look.

“Zip it, Jamie,” Teddy hissed.

James seemed to realise that Teddy wasn’t messing around and kept whatever it was he’d planned to say to himself.

The light got closer, and then Teddy could see the shadow of an all-too-familiar cat. Filch’s cat. Mrs Norris the second. Or maybe it was the third. Teddy wasn’t entirely sure only knew Filch kept naming his cats after his first and Teddy had never quite wanted to bring up the clearly sensitive topic and ask.

“This way my pretty. If there are students out of bed I’ll catch them,” Filch grumbled. His feet shuffled loudly against the stone as he got closer. 

Instinctively Teddy wrapped his arm around James and pulled him flush against Teddy’s chest. James moved easily, unexpectedly wrapping his own arms around Teddy and resting his chin on Teddy’s shoulder.

“Ickle students out of bed. You’ll be sorry when I catch you,” Filch hissed loudly as Mrs Norris wove her way in and out of his legs.

Teddy’s heart hammered in his chest as James muffled his laughter against Teddy’s neck, though whether it was from the close proximity of James’s body pressed against his own or the prospect of being caught, Teddy wasn’t sure.

Not daring to speak, Teddy settled for pinching James’s side in the hopes of getting him to stop laughing. Unfortunately all it did was make James laugh harder, his entire body shaking and his breath hot and heavy against Teddy’s shoulder as James shoved his face into Teddy’s chest in a clear attempt to silence the noise.

Filch lifted his lantern higher, his beady eyes narrowed as he eyed the section of wall where they were currently standing. 

Teddy had been no stranger to having fun during his years at Hogwarts, but he’d never once done something like sneak out of bed after curfew—or anything else that could have earned him detention. Not that Teddy could earn a detention now. He was a professor for fuck’s sake. He and James were allowed to go anywhere they wanted. Standing beneath the cloak with James on the verge of being caught, Teddy was reminded of him and James teaming up against Harry and Lily and Albus for an intense game of wizard tag. He remembered the years before he’d left for Hogwarts when it had always been _Teddy and James_ against the world—when there had never been a question about whom would be on whose team for games, because James always chose Teddy. 

A time before Teddy had begun to outgrown his baby godbrother, and real life had taken them apart.

A time when Teddy hadn’t been so afraid to make mistakes.

Time seemed to stand still as Filch inched closer to them, and while Teddy knew that logically they couldn’t get in trouble, the thrill of adrenaline and excitement flooding his system was undeniable. 

Teddy felt James’s arm move against his back, his wrist twisting and bunching up Teddy’s jumper as James murmured something into Teddy’s chest. All at once a loud crash sounded from the end of the corridor, and Filch panted as he ran, the lantern clanking loudly as he tried to keep up with Mrs Norris.

As soon as they were sure the coast was clear, the laughter that had been threatening to erupt from James’s chest exploded with the force of a hurricane as he collapsed against Teddy and snorted into Teddy’’s neck, his entire body shaking with the force of his amusement.

“We almost got caught,” Teddy said through his own laughter.

James opened his mouth, but all that came out was another round of laughter as he fisted his hands in the front of Teddy’s jumper to keep himself upright.

“I’m so glad our close call has amused you so much, Jamie.”

James pulled back and blew out a breath as he attempted to stifle his laughter, swiping the back of his hand over his eyes, which had begun to water.

“It really has,” James said, and though he was no longer pressed up against Teddy, he could feel the residual heat of James’s body. 

“So how much farther is this surprise?” Teddy inquired, suddenly not at all in a hurry to move.

“Not much,” James answered as he carefully spun around and left Teddy with a clear view of James’s back and the curls of hair at his neck. “This way, follow me.”

Teddy snorted. “Where else would I go?”

“You might decide to leave,” James countered, and though his words were clearly meant in jest Teddy couldn’t help but sense an undercurrent of hurt no matter how unintended.

“I wouldn’t abandon you, James. Adventure or death right?” Teddy tried to keep his tone light.

James stumbled, and Teddy’s hand flew out to wrap around James’s waist to steady him, ensuring he didn't stumble forward and take the entire cloak with him.

“Alright there?” Teddy laughed. “Thought you were supposed to be coordinated. Or perhaps that’s only in the air.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” James mumbled, not making any move to dislodge Teddy’s hands, so neither did Teddy, who instead pressed his chest against James’s back as they rounded the corner just in case anyone else was nearby or James tripped over nothing again. “I didn’t know you remembered.”

“Remembered what?” Teddy asked, barely noticing that James had begun to slow down.

“Our saying,” James said, ripping the invisibility cloak off them in one go. The motion left James’s hair in disarray, his small ponytail now a mess with loose wisps of hair falling down in front of his eyes or sticking up on one side. Teddy had the most ridiculous urge to reach out and smooth it down, so he crossed his arms over his chest instead.

“Adventure or death,” Teddy repeated.

James nodded. “I thought maybe you’d forgotten. It’s been a long time.”

James was right. It had been a long time. The last time Teddy could really remember chanting James’s motto with him had been the summer before Teddy had gone off to Hogwarts. He’d been spending a week at the Potters’ before he was set to head to London with his gran to go to Diagon Alley and then Platform 9 ¾. Those had been long summer days filled with laughter and too many sweets and a five-year-old James climbing into Teddy’s bed in the spare room and whispering, “Promise you won’t forget me, Teddy?”

“How could I ever forget you, Jamie?” Teddy had whispered back, patting the younger boy’s hair. James had fallen asleep easily, his tiny snores filling the room as he rolled onto his stomach and took the duvet with him.

Looking at James now, all Teddy could think was that while he might have never technically forgotten James, he’d certainly overlooked him from time to time. More than Teddy wanted to admit.

James continued to watch Teddy out of the corner of his eye as he took a few steps toward the large painting on the wall, reaching out to the fruit bowl and tickling the pear.

“Is this the kitchens?” Teddy asked stupidly, because of course it was. Teddy had read _Hogwarts: A History The Revised Edition_ Hermione had helped rewrite in his sixth year and knew all about the painting that led to the kitchen. Of course, knowing about it in theory and actually coming here was something else entirely.

“Don’t tell me you never came? You were Head Boy, Teddy! You were allowed to go anywhere! Besides, this is literally right next to the Hufflepuff common room” James balked as the portrait changed before his very eyes and the pear turned into an ornate green door handle.

“I was Head Boy precisely because I knew how to follow the rules which said the kitchen was a restricted area for students.” 

“Rules,” James snorted, shaking his head as if the idea were preposterous. He turned the handle. “How boring.”

Before Teddy could respond, James stepped through, beckoning Teddy to follow him with a wave of his hand. Teddy was pretty certain the rules technically only said students weren’t allowed in the kitchens, not professors, even if, to his knowledge, none of the professors ever went in there. 

Teddy had seen a few photos of the kitchens in _Hogwarts: A History_ —though admittedly those were quite old—but not even wizarding photos could do it justice. The kitchen was absolutely massive with a vaulted ceiling as high and grand as the Great Hall. All along the walls were rows upon rows of gleaming brass pans and multiple stoves and tables. Though it was late there was still a handful of house elves scattered around the room, some polishing cookware, others busy preparing for tomorrow's meals, and another walking around with a floating quill and clipboard as he muttered to himself, apparently taking inventory of the pantry.

Teddy watched with rapt fascination, having only ever encountered a few house elves in his time, most of them preferring to enter and exit his personal quarters while he was gone. It was humbling to come face to face with magical beings so crucial to the running of Hogwarts and so oft forgotten and underappreciated. The unmistakable smell of brownies wafted through the air, but before Teddy could ask James if he thought the elves might give them something to eat, one of the house elves on the far side of the room opened her mouth and let out an ear-piercing screech.

“Master James has returned to Hogwarts!” she yelled, her tiny legs sprinting across the room before she slammed into James’s legs.

“Hello, Winky,” James said, bending down to envelop the small elf in a hug. The effect was instantaneous, and all across the kitchen tiny shrieks could be heard, pots and pans clattering to the floor as elves rushed to see James—though none of them were quite as bold as the one called Winky, who looked like she might never let go.

“Winky is not forgetting you, Master James!” she sobbed, stepping back. For the first time Teddy realised that she was wearing a tiny dress made out of a Puddlemere United jersey and a pair of mismatched socks—one bright red with brooms and the other a shocking shade of purple with Snitches on it. It occured to Teddy that James might have come here for more than an occasional snack.

“I’m back at Hogwarts now, Winky. As a professor.” The elf broke into a sob and threw herself on James’s shoulder, covering itin thick globs of snot and tears. James didn’t seem in the least bit bothered., “I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you yet. I was still settling in. But I promise I’ll come visit you whenever I can, alright?”

“Master James is too good! Winky is not worthy of Master James.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not your master, Winky.”

Winky sniffled, pulling back and blowing her nose on the hem of her ruffled dress. “Winky is a free elf, but Winky can choose her master, and Winky is knowing who is a good wizard, Master James.”

James’s cheeks flushed as he patted her on the head, her large eyes comically wide. Almost instantly her face transformed as she slapped her tiny, knobby fingers on either side of James’s face and leaned close. Her orb-like eyes widened, if possible, even more.

“Master James, is you eating good?” Winky asked. She pinched his cheeks and frowned.

“I eat plenty,” James laughed, unperturbed by the elf’s behavior. The other elves continued to inch closer, clearly not as close to James as Winky was but obviously dying to get nearer to James.

Winky furrowed her eyebrows, or at least the spot where eyebrows would be if house elves had eyebrows. The lines in her forehead wrinkled and her floppy ears stood up straight as she jabbed a finger into James’s stomach. “Lies! Master James is too skinny! We must feed Master James!”

When no one moved, Winky turned on the other elves and rose to her full three feet of glory, waggling a bony finger at them. “Now!”

The house elves didn’t hesitate, scurrying around the room in a bustle as pots were slammed onto the stove, potatoes and parsnips went flying through the air, and Winky single-handedly herded Teddy and James over to a long wooden table in the middle of the room.

“Sit,” she said in a tone that bore no option of disagreement. She snapped her fingers, and a pot of tea and two cups appeared in the centre of the table along with a sugar pot and creamer.

“Don’t suppose you have any of those biscuits you know I like do you, Winky?” James asked as they both sat down. James reached for a teacup and smiled when he caught Teddy staring.

“You is ruining your supper!” Winky gasped, shaking her head. “Biscuits is not food.” The look of horror on her face was unmistakable, and Teddy barely fought back a laugh.

James shrugged. “Was worth a try,” he laughed as Winky walked away muttering to herself and shaking her small head so hard her ears flopped around wildly.

All around them the kitchen had come to life, the elves practically vibrating with energy now that they had a job to do, and before Teddy knew it, the table in front of them was laden high with sausages, buttered peas, bowls of potatoes and parsnips, and freshly baked bread rolls.

“So uh...did you come here a lot?” Teddy asked, finally giving voice to the question that had been on the tip of his tongue for the last half hour. 

It’d been impossible to ask with a new elf coming over every minute or so to bashfully welcome James back to Hogwarts. But now that the food had been served the elves had retreated to various spots around the kitchen pretending to tidy up, and while Teddy was very cognizant of the sets of eyes watching them, he was pretty sure they weren’t likely to get interrupted again.

James speared a large potato with his fork, flinging it onto his plate and adding a large spoonful of peas and several sausages. He had his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as if weighing his words.

“Often enough.”

Teddy had always seen James as an open book—a man of no secrets. Teddy wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Winky seems very fond of you,” Teddy observed quietly, feeling for the first time as if James were someone who could be spooked. Teddy realised then how much he wanted to know about this—about James. He wanted to know _everything._

“Dad gave me the invisibility cloak when I came to Hogwarts. He made me promise not to use it to get into trouble.”

“I’m pretty sure Harry used it to get into trouble,” Teddy said.

James barked out a laugh. “That’s exactly what I told Dad. Anyway, I found the kitchens by accident in my second year. I’d gone for a late night walk and Mrs Norris was hot on my tail, and I found the portrait. I remembered Dad’s story about the pear and went for it, and lo and behold it worked. The house elves seemed surprised to see me. They’re quite shy actually, but they warmed up to me fast. Winky especially, said I reminded her of Dad.”

Teddy nodded, not wanting to interrupt. Everyone was always talking about Albus’s resemblance to Harry because the physical similarities were uncanny. Yet it was James who smiled the same way Harry did—with his entire face, eyes crinkling up in the corners. It was James whose booming laughter reminded Teddy of his godfather, and it was James whose boldness screamed _Potter_. James might have looked more like a Weasley physically, but his personality was very similar to Harry’s, and it was easy to see how someone like Winky might have picked up on that.

“After that I started coming back whenever I could. It was hard to make time with classes and homework and Quidditch, but I did my best.” James poked at his peas, several of them rolling off his plate and onto the table. ”It was nice to come here when I was lonely.”

Teddy’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth as he stared at James in disbelief, having a hard time imagining James, the youngest Quidditch captain in Hogwarts’ history and all-around most popular student at Hogwarts, being lonely. 

“When were you lonely?” Teddy asked.

James shrugged, tightening his grip on his fork as he speared a parsnip. “Oh, you know,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“No, Jamie, I don’t. Will you tell me?”

James didn’t answered at first, shoving the parsnip into his mouth and chewing slowly. Teddy waiting patiently.

“A lot,” he finally whispered. “Albus didn’t want anything to do with me once he came to Hogwarts, and you were gone and everyone...everyone always just assumed I was fine.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell me?” Teddy asked, trying his damndest to keep any accusatory tone out of his voice.

James continued to stare at the top of the table instead of Teddy. “Mum and Dad were always so worried about Albus, and then once Lily came she was sorted into Slytherin, and her and Albus had each other, and mum and dad seemed so relieved. By that time it was my last year anyway,” he stopped, shrugging. 

“You could’ve told me,” Teddy said, thinking back to the letters James sent him every few weeks with all the Hogwarts gossip and updates on the House Cup and Quidditch standings. It’d never occured to Teddy to question how much James talked about everything and everyone besides himself.

“You had lots of grown-up worries, it was alright,” James insisted. “You’d started Auror training and you had so much going on. You didn’t need to hear about my weekly trips to the kitchens.”

 _Weekly._ Teddy’s chest ached, and he couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t really alright. His face must’ve shown some of his thoughts because James frowned.

“Stop looking at me like that,” James said with a heavy sigh, throwing a bread roll at Teddy’s head.

“Oi,” Teddy laughed, catching the roll in his left hand. “What exactly am I looking at you like?”

“Like you feel sorry for me. I can’t stand it. I’m fine. Besides that was a long time ago.”

“You know you’re incredible.”

James’s mouth fell open in surprise, the tips of his ears turning bright red as he ducked his head. He mumbled something Teddy couldn’t understand, ripping a bread roll in half and shoving it into his mouth.

Teddy bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

James “I’m the most incredible person alive” Potter apparently couldn’t accept a compliment.

 

****

**~*~*~*~**

“Gryffindor rules,” Teddy said with no amount of reserve, rolling his eyes. He wondered if that had been James’s password since the start of term or if he’d changed it solely because he knew Teddy was coming to visit.

“State your business!” The portrait yelled, waving its sword at Teddy. James’s portrait was twice as large as Teddy’s, though most of it was made up of rolling hills, and in the very center was a knight.

Teddy balked, unused to hostile treatment from the portraits. Then again, it was a portrait in the Gryffindor corridor so perhaps expecting the norm was too much.

“Er, I’m here to visit James.”

“Are your intentions pure?” The portrait asked seriously, and this time Teddy couldn’t contain his snort of derision. He figured it was probably best not to mention the bottle of firewhisky currently residing in his left pocket.

“Yes,” Teddy answered. If he’d learned anything in his years at Hogwarts it was that everyone always underestimated the portraits’ capacity for stubborness.

“Alright then,” the knight said, sheathing its sword. The portrait shook for a second before it swung open to reveal the narrow passageway leading to James’s quarters.

“James,” Teddy called out. “I’m here.”

“Be there in a second!” James hollered, his voice echoing down the short corridor from what must be James’s bedroom. 

Teddy’s shoes fell heavy on the stone as he stepped into James’s sitting room. He was instantly glad James wasn’t out there yet as it gave him a chance to poke around. He couldn’t believe it’d been almost three weeks since James showed up to teach and this was the first time Teddy was seeing his rooms. 

When Teddy had learned that James’s quarters were near Gryffindor Tower, Teddy had assumed that his sitting room would be an exact replica of the Gryffindor common room, which Teddy had seen only a handful of times from his duties as Head Boy. James’s rooms couldn’t have been further from that. The entire room was awash in bright colors, from the blue sofa to the orange blanket thrown over the back of it, to the mismatched bookshelves flanking the fireplace, which were crammed with books, knick-knacks, and some of James’s Quidditch trophies. Teddy noticed it wasn’t the Puddlemere trophies that seemed to be front and center, but rather a small ugly ceramic trophy that Albus and Scorpius’s son had made James for Christmas last year was on the top of the shelf— _World’s Best Uncle_ written across the front. Beside that was a framed drawing that Victoire’s daughter had painted for James when he’d won the World Cup—her familiar untidy scrawl on the bottom of the picture. In fact, most of the top shelves seemed to be made up of nothing but things James’s nephew or other Weasley kids had made for him. Teddy wasn’t sure why it surprised him so much.

Walking through James’s sitting room, Teddy had the distinct impression he was seeing a side of James not many people got to see.

Teddy sidestepped the sofa as he moved closer to the fireplace, his eyes trailing across the long row of photos decorating the mantle. James surrounded by his mum and dad and siblings the year he’d left Hogwarts. James being held up by his teammates the year England won the World Cup. James holding Flynn the day Albus and Scorpius had brought him home—James’s face awash with love as he’d stared at his nephew, a tiny hand wrapped around James’s finger. Of course now it was Flynn who had James wrapped around his finger—the pint-sized child as enamored with his famous uncle as James was with him. The photos continued, the next one a large frame with Albus and Scorpius on their wedding day—Flynn standing between them holding each of his dads’ hands and his little face beaming with pride. Lily on the top of El Misti in Peru the year she’d left Hogwarts. James and Teddy two years ago at the Potters’ kickoff to summer garden party. 

“Hey,” James said, his voice startling Teddy.

Teddy spun around and came face to face with a freshly showered James in nothing but a pair of dark-blue pyjama bottoms and a worn t-shirt. His bare feet were poking out from beneath the hem of his pyjamas, which were a few inches too long, and Teddy recognized his shirt as the one Puddlemere United had given James when he’d officially signed to the team seven years ago as the lead Seeker. The lettering had begun to peel, and there was a barely visible hole near the armpit where the cotton was stretched tightly across James’s body, the rise and fall of his chest visible as he stared at Teddy.

“Earth to Teds.” James laughed, but Teddy was stuck staring at James’s still damp hair and the way it was beginning to curl around his ears. It was the first time Teddy had seen his hair down, and it was longer than he’d suspected, falling just past his chin. Unbidden, the image of Teddy’s hand slipping into James’s hair flashed before his eyes, and Teddy stumbled backwards, the mantle cutting into his shoulder blades as he shook his head.

“Sorry, tired,” Teddy lied, feeling more alert than he had in months.

“We can have game night another night?” James offered as if his only care were Teddy’s well-being.

“No, I’m good,” Teddy insisted. “And I brought something.” Teddy reached into his trouser pocket and withdrew the tiny bottle of firewhisky. James’s eyes were heavy on him as he grabbed his wand from his other pocket and unshrunk the bottle.

James let out a low whistle as his lips turned up in a smile. “Teddy Lupin, are you trying to get me pissed on a school night.”

Teddy willed down the blush he felt creeping up his neck. “You don’t have any lessons tomorrow.”

James took a step closer, the tips of his fingers brushing against Teddy’s wrist as he plucked the bottle from Teddy’s hand. “I don’t, but you do.”

“I’ve got hangover potion in my room. I’m a big boy.”

If Teddy wasn’t mistaken he’d have sworn that James’s eyes racked up and down his body, but then James’s face was blank again as he wandlessly Transfigured two throw pillows into glasses.

“How the fuck did you do that?” Teddy blurted out.

James laughed. “Uh, you’re the Transfiguration professor. Shouldn’t you know? That’s only an OWL-level spell.”

“Not the spell!” Teddy said, brimming with indignation as he dropped the firewhisky onto the sofa and grabbed ahold of James’s hands, turning them over to stare at them. “The wandless magic!”

“Oh,” James breathed. “That.”

“That,” Teddy grumbled, realising he was still holding James’s hands and dropping them. He lifted his head to see James staring at him with a bemused expression. “Do you have any idea how rare wandless magic is?”

“According to Aunt Hermione,” James began, straightening his shoulders and pitching his voice higher in a clear imitation of his Aunt, “it’s unheard of in those outside of the Unspeakables’ department aside from your father, but your father has always defied expectations.”

Teddy laughed, perfectly able to imagine that speech falling from Hermione’s lips. “How long have you been able to do it? How did you find out you could do it? What other spells can you do? Was that you who caused the distraction last week with Filch?”

James licked his lips as he stared at Teddy. “I’m definitely going to require a drink before I answer all of those.”

He nodded towards the sofa, leaping over the back and plopping onto the cushion with an audible thud and a grin despite the fact that it would’ve taken him exactly three strides to walk around the sofa and sit down.

James reached for the firewhisky, twisting the lid off and filling both glasses with a more than generous portion. He learned back and handed one to Teddy, raising the other one to his own lips and gulping down a mouthful.

“Shit, that burns,” James laughed, eyes wide.

“You’re not supposed to drink that much at once,” Teddy admonished, sipping his own drink like a normal person.

James shrugged as he turned to face Teddy, crossing his legs and tucking his feet beneath them as he dangled his glass precariously between his hands. 

“It wasn’t long after the accident,” he said. It was the first time since it had actually happened that Teddy had heard him talk about the accident. In the hospital James had seemed determined to change the subject, asking after whomever visited him or demanding someone play Exploding Snap with him. It occured to Teddy that not once had he asked James how he felt. Back at St Mungo’s he’d offered sympathy for the end of James’s career, he’d asked if he hurt, but somewhere along the line he’d taken for granted that James would bounce back emotionally. James swirled his glass, eyes focused on the amber liquid. He took one more hearty drink before he spoke. “The Healers wouldn’t let me have my wand back for weeks. Apparently re-growing thirteen vertebrae is pretty rare, especially if you’ve done it before. They didn’t want any extra physical or emotional strain on me while I healed, because they were worried about unexpected consequences. They wouldn’t even let me have any pain potions because they were afraid of them potentially weakening the regrown bones or tentatively healed internal damage.”

“I didn’t realise, I’m sorry,” Teddy said quietly. He’d known about the extensive bone re-growth from Harry of course, but Harry had made it sound like a sad but matter-of-fact reality. He’d never once let on that James was in pain or struggling. 

James shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. Only mum and dad knew. I wouldn’t even let them tell Albus or Lily.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want anyone to worry, and I’m fine now. Besides, you wanted to know about the magic, right?”

Teddy nodded, afraid to say the wrong thing.

“It’d been four days without my wand, and I was going crazy. Not that I needed it mind you. What did I need to do magic in St Mungo’s for? There was always a nurse or Healer in the room who could get me anything I needed. It was more—” he stopped, lifting his glass up and taking a slow sip, his knuckles white around the glass and his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I didn’t like feeling weak. I couldn’t play Quidditch anymore, and even though I knew I’d get my wand back eventually, I just felt so...helpless.”

Teddy’s heart ached, and he reached out to lay his hand on James’s knee. James didn’t shy away from the touch, instead giving Teddy a small smile.

“I was determined to at least be able to learn enough wandless magic to _Accio_ my wand or cast a Body-Bnd. Dad kept telling me the Unspeakables spend years studying wandlore before they master wandless magic, but I just told him the Unspeakables weren’t Potters.”

Teddy laughed. “Bet Harry liked that.”

This time James smiled for real. “He did. He clapped me on the back and said he needed to run an errand. Came back an hour later with a pocket full of shrunken books. He said something about it not being strictly legal to have them outside of the Ministry, but since Dad was on a two-week leave, and I wasn’t a Ministry employee, we weren’t technically subject to the employee rule book.”

Teddy snorted. That sounded exactly like Harry, and he could well imagine him desperately doing anything to give his son a sliver of hope or power in a situation like that. James continued, unaware of Teddy’s internal thoughts.

“Anyway, after three days of reading I thought I’d give it a go and—”

“I’m sorry,” Teddy interrupted, “after _three days_ of reading you thought you’d mastered wandless magic?”

“Now see here, I never said I mastered it, I said I was gonna try it. There’s a huge difference. If you want to hear the story stop interrupting, old man.”

“Who are you calling old? You’re almost thirty!”

James clutched his hand to his chest as if he’d been physically wounded. “Fuck you!”

Teddy couldn’t contain the laughter that bubbled out of his chest. James cocked his head to the side, clearly fighting back his own. “I’m so happy I amuse you.”

“You do, Jamie. You really do. Merlin, you’re fun.”

James’s eyes widened, the playfulness in his eyes replaced by surprise as he turned his head and took another drink of his firewhisky. “Of course I’m fun,” James mumbled. “I wasn’t named world’s best uncle for nothing, you know. Got a trophy and everything to prove it”

“Well, Flynn would know.”

“Fucking right he would,” James said with more than a fair bit of pride. “That kid is a genius. Smart, most handsome kid in the world.”

“And you’re not biased at all.”

James laughed. “Maybe just a little, but it’s still the truth.” He looked pensive, but before Teddy could say anything James was speaking again. “Anyway as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I decided to give it a try, and of course it didn’t work.”

“Of course,” Teddy agreed. James stuck his finger up.

“Not for the reasons you might think. I realised that all of the books about wandlore and the stuff I was reading about muscle memory, proprioception, and self-awareness were actually related. The magical theory books make it sound like your magic is some wild force that takes years to master, but I thought, what if magic is like a muscle? What if we could sense and strengthen it with the right kind of practice? The books make it sound like some sort of mysterious journey that only the lucky few can ever master, but I don’t believe that. I think we’re all capable of the same things, mostly. Except we go to school and we’re fast-tracked into a field of study before we’re even old enough to really know what we want to do! But I digress, my point is I think we’re all capable of learning this. The Unspeakables must be really boring sorts, because let me tell you those books put me to sleep. Honestly, it’s like they don’t want you to learn wandless magic and try to bore you to death as some sort of test.”

“So what, you just studied kinesiology and wandlore for fun and came up with this stuff in a few weeks? Is this when you picked up Tai Chi too?” Teddy asked, wondering if there were anything James couldn’t do, making up for whatever he lacked in practical knowledge or skill with sheer determination and stubbornness.

“There are a lot of hours in the day, especially when you can’t do anything but sit. I didn’t really get the hang of it until a few weeks ago, though.”

“So that was you then, that caused the crash last week?”

James nodded, setting his now-empty glass down on the sofa as he leaned his elbows on his thighs and stared at Teddy. “Knocked over the suit of armour near the Arithmancy classroom.”

“Wicked,” Teddy said, and this time James’s entire face flushed pink, but he didn’t break eye contact with Teddy. “Sounds like you should’ve been working with the Unspeakables rather than at Hogwarts,” Teddy joked.

“Nah, not enough gold in Gringotts to have made me accept their offer,” James replied seriously.

Teddy choked on his firewhisky, some of it dripping down his chin as he spluttered. “Wait, did they seriously offer you a job?”

“Yeah,” he answered, looking unimpressed. “I don’t even want to know how they knew what I was doing, because if I think too hard about it then I have some serious questions about the ethical monitoring of the wizarding populace the Ministry is conducting. Of course it's also entirely possible that dad let it slip to Aunt Hermione. He’s rubbish at keeping secrets from her and Uncle Ron. Always has been.”

“I’m sorry, I’m going to need you to back up. You got an offer to work with the Unspeakables and you took a job at Hogwarts to teach flying instead?”

“Are you implying that there’s less value in one type of work? Because if you are, I’m not too pissed to hex you, Teddy Lupin.”

“Shit, no. That’s not what I meant. You know how much I love Hogwarts. I was just surprised that’s all. When you were little you used to say being an Unspeakable must be like being a superhero. I know a lot of people were surprised when you went into Quidditch right out of Hogwarts since you’d got so many NEWTs you easily could’ve got a placement within the Ministry. I just thought, well, given the opportunity you might like that.”

“That I’d like the power and prestige?” James asked. He didn’t sound offended, merely curious.

It was Teddy’s turn to shrug. It sounded worse when James said it like that. “Why didn’t you take it then? Bet Harry was shocked.”

“I didn’t tell anyone I got the offer. Pretty sure Aunt Hermione knew, but otherwise—”

“Otherwise you only told me?” Teddy finished.

James nodded. “I didn’t want anyone to try to change my mind. Not that they would’ve succeeded, but it was my decision. I’d had the offer from the Unspeakables for nearly a week when I got Minerva’s owl. It was funny because I kept reading their offer—and boy, was it a more than generous offer—but something was holding me back from signing it. Then I got Minerva’s letter telling me the flying position had been unexpectedly vacated a week before term was set to start, and she would be honoured if I would join the staff. I’d signed my name to the offer before my tea had even gone cold.”

“And are you glad you did? Come to Hogwarts I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“For what it's worth, I’m really glad you came to Hogwarts too,” Teddy offered. He left the rest of his feelings unsaid. _I didn't realise how much I missed you. How could I have known you my entire life and feel like I’m only just getting to know you. Have you always been this perfect? Did you always have so many freckles?_ Teddy wasn’t sure if keeping those thoughts quiet was to protect James or himself.

“Thanks, Teds,” James said, shifting his body and leaning back against the arm of the sofa as he stretched his legs out into Teddy’s lap. For someone who wasn’t that tall—no matter how much James might try to argue the contrary—he had surprisingly long legs. 

Teddy put his drink down on the coffee table and leaned back against the cushions making himself more comfortable. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the deck of Exploding Snap cards lying forgotten on the edge of the table and didn’t feel at all inclined to bring the game up. 

“You must be getting old if one drink is putting you to sleep already,” Teddy observed, resting his hands atop James’s calves. The material of his pyjamas was soft, the warmth of his skin radiating, though soothing.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m resting my eyes,” James answered.

“Sure, James. Whatever you say.”

“Did you ever think back when you first started teaching here that one day I might be here with you?” James asked, his eyes still shut and his head resting back on the arm of the sofa—his dark hair splashed against the bright blue. It made his skin seem even more pale, his freckles brighter. He looked defenceless in a way that was a stark contrast to the way Teddy had always viewed James. He opened his eyes just in time to catch Teddy staring, but Teddy couldn’t have made himself look away even if his life depended on it.

James was his little godbrother. James was bold and joyful and like sunshine incarnate. He was also Quidditch obsessed, stubborn, drank milk straight from the fridge, and had a bad habit of leaving his shoes in front of the Floo. The truth was, James wasn’t so little anymore—and hadn’t been for a very long time. It was becoming rapidly apparent that James was a lot more than most people, Teddy included, had ever known.

“No, I can’t say that I did,” he answered when he realised he’d been staring at James for too long. “To be honest, I almost didn’t even show up that first year. I’d accepted the position readily enough but once it came time to actually pack up my stuff and leave Italy to come, I started to panic. All I could think about was what the wizarding world might say when I returned after several years abroad when the last time I’d been in England I nearly killed my godfather.”

Teddy felt tears prickle at his eyes, the guilt threatening to overwhelm him even years later. He thought he understood now why James didn’t talk about his accident. Some things dredged up memories you thought you were over.

Teddy rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes and offered James a shaky smile. James shoved his toes into Teddy’s stomach and squeezed his hand.

“Awfully big-headed of you to assume you could accomplish what Voldemort couldn’t,” James observed. His voice was sleepy, and he seemed to be forcing his eyes to stay open to stare at Teddy.

Teddy barked out a laugh. He opened his mouth then shut it again, unsure how to respond to that. Trust James to be able to say something that would shake Teddy from his morose thoughts. 

“Thanks so much for reminding me of my magical mediocrity,” Teddy said.

“Anytime, Teds.” This time James’s eyes were shut, but there was a smile on his face nonetheless. “So what changed your mind about coming then?”

“Huh?” Teddy said before realisation dawned. “Oh, to Hogwarts. Right. I mean for starters it was what I wanted. I loved Hogwarts. It’d always felt like home. The idea of teaching here and being able to make a positive difference in someone else’s life felt right. I knew I needed to get over my fear of what people would think when I came back.” He paused, drumming his fingers over James’s ankle. “And to be honest, you’d just come out as bisexual and the press was going nuts over it and I sort of hoped maybe no one would care about me. You’re a lot more interesting than I am,” Teddy said, his laughter dying on his lips as something occurred to him for the first time.

James. James had come out as the first openly bisexual Quidditch player the week before Teddy came back to Hogwarts. It’d been absolutely mayhem, and James hadn’t been able to leave his flat without being hounded for weeks. James’s face had even been splashed across the foreign wizarding press with everything from praise for his bravery to speculation about whether it would cause the downfall of his team, or suspicions about whether James could ever be loyal to one team. _Fuck._ How the fuck had Teddy never realised it before? 

“James did you come out to make it easier for me to come back to England unnoticed?” Teddy whispered, giving voice to a question he wasn’t entirely sure he was prepared to hear the answer to. 

James didn’t answer, and Teddy was almost afraid to turn his eyes on him and see the answer that would be written across his face. Except when he did all he saw was James’s mouth hanging open slightly, his arms crossed over his tummy and his chest rising and falling slowly.

James had fallen asleep.

Teddy exhaled a shuddering breath and dropped his head back on the sofa, turning to watch James.

For someone who was always being watched, it seemed that James was rarely _seen_ , even by the people who claimed to know him the best.

Teddy felt almost grateful James had fallen asleep, not at all prepared for his overwhelming feelings as he recalled the months of suspicion and slander James had endured after coming out.


	3. Chapter 3

In the following weeks, no matter how much Teddy tried to bring up his realisation to James, he simply couldn’t. 

He’d stayed in James’s quarters for longer than he would admit that night—almost as afraid to leave as he’d been to stay. In the end, he’d slipped out from beneath James, settling his legs on the sofa and covering him with a heavy throw. James had grunted, his long arm slipping off the sofa as a snore left his mouth, but he hadn’t woken up.

The next morning James had ducked his head and apologized over breakfast for falling asleep mid-convo and missing their game night. It’d been on the tip of Teddy’s tongue to bring his realisation up, but then Hagrid had moved beside them and asked if anyone wanted to come around to see how large his pumpkins were getting. Teddy had fallen back into silence and listened to Hagrid and James discuss potential possibilities for carving them into jack-o-lanterns for the Halloween feast the following month. Even after Hagrid retreated and he and James were left alone at the end of the head table, James hadn't mentioned Teddy’s questions from the night before, which left Teddy feeling certain James had not heard him. 

In a way it didn’t matter because Teddy didn’t need James to tell him, he knew. Sure, James might’ve had other reasons for coming out, but the timing along with Teddy’s recent revelations about James left him in no doubt that whether he was planning on coming out anyway, he’d clearly done it very publically and specifically timed for Teddy’s sake. 

Teddy wasn’t sure he had the words to articulate the way that made him feel—proud of James, grateful, a little guilty, grateful again, and confused.

It left Teddy staring at James day after day from across the corridor or trying to catch a glimpse of his flying lessons in between Teddy’s classes with a pair of Omnioculars he’d confiscated from a second year at the start of term. It was almost as if everywhere Teddy looked James was there, and if he wasn’t then Teddy found himself seeking him out.

Teddy had never found his life at Hogwarts lacking, but in the weeks since James had joined the staff Teddy’s life had been filled with a kind of vibrancy and laughter Teddy hadn’t even known he’d been missing.

Teddy was surprised to discover that he rather enjoyed the way James had shaken up the school and Teddy’s own life. The students were always buzzing with excitement—more of them taking part in James’s after-class flying lessons than ever. The rates for detention had lowered by more than forty percent as most of the children were so keen to partake in James’s lessons they didn’t want to risk detention and missing out. 

It wasn’t just the students. The professors seemed happier too. Teddy was used to most of them stumbling into the Great Hall each morning with tight smiles as they prepared for the day ahead, almost as if tired before things had even started. James’s enthusiasm was clearly having a trickle-down effect, as Teddy had seen more smiles and laughter at the head table over the last week than he had in years. Something about James’s excitement to be at Hogwarts and teaching had reminded so many of them, Teddy included, why they’d first come here as well.

James’s zest for life was infectious.

Teddy had been content with his quiet life. It had never occurred to him that there was room for him to be even happier, and yet James being there made Teddy happy.

It wasn’t just having someone closer to his age, or someone he’d grown up with, though those were both factors. It was something innately James—his self-deprecating humor, his flair for the dramatic, and his ability to find the positive in any situation. James was amazing, and Teddy almost felt sorry for all the years he’d missed out on knowing James as deeply as he did now.

James was incredible, and Teddy felt lucky to be able to call James his friend.

“This seat taken?” Neville asked, nodding toward the very empty seat beside Teddy. Teddy shook his head in answer and nearly knocked over his tea, jumping out his chair and balking when he noticed the hair that fell into his eye turning sky blue.

“No,” Teddy answered, wondering if Neville had any idea what Teddy had been thinking about while staring at the doors, waiting for James to wake up.

Teddy was awake early enough that none of the other professors had made it down to the Great Hall for breakfast yet, aside from Neville. There were a few early bird students scattered across the Great Hall quietly eating or reading, but most of them were still asleep. Not that Teddy blamed them. He’d often slept in on the weekends too, even as Head Boy.

“Haven’t seen much of you the last two weeks,” Neville observed, loading his plate with eggs and sausages as he sat down.

“Busy term,” Teddy said, reaching for a piece of toast. He’d already finished his own breakfast, but he hated not having something to do when someone else was eating.

Neville hummed noncommittally. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with James. He seems to have settled right in here.”

“He really has. He’s a natural fit. It’s no wonder Minerva offered him the position. You should see him with the first years. Would you believe that he managed to get Auggie Rabnott in the air yesterday?”

Neville paused mid-scoop of eggs, a few pieces tumbling onto the table as he turned astonished eyes on Teddy. “Auggie? Auggie the Hufflepuff first year who is scared of his own shadow?”

Teddy nodded. “The one and only.”

Neville whistled, the spoonful of eggs still comically held midair. “I can’t even get Auggie to raise his hand in my class. I mentioned defence spells that would work against vampires last week, and he knocked over his books and hid under the desk. I couldn't get him to come out until the end of class. He was convinced I was lying and had a vampire hidden somewhere as part of the lesson. How in the bloody hell did James manage to get him on a broom and in the air?”

“It was amazing,” Teddy said with no small amount of wonder, recalling the lesson he’d not-so-accidently managed to walk in on. “Auggie was terrified, and a few of the other kids had begun to tease him about Hufflepuffs being too boring to fly, but James was quick to give Auggie his full attention. Auggie told him his family said he’d never make the house team and why should he bother trying, and James just got down on his level and told him ‘I know Quidditch and I believe in you, Auggie’. He’s got this way with the children. It’s not just that they look up to him because he’s famous, they respect him. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

It took Teddy a moment to realise Neville was openly staring at him.

“What?” Teddy asked, looking down at his yellow jumper expecting to see crumbs or a clump of butter.

“Why were you at one of James’s first year lessons?” Neville questioned. There was a look in his eyes Teddy didn’t quite recognise.

“I uh, wanted to ask him something and forgot he was having a lesson,” Teddy lied, hoping Neville didn’t notice the way the tips of his hair had begun to turn hot pick. Fucking hair was like an automatic lie detector.

“Right, of course,” Neville said, reaching for the tea pot and beginning to pour himself some tea.

“What does that mean?” Teddy asked, hackles raised. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Neville said, adding two spoons of sugar to his tea. “You see James daily don’t you?”

“Course I do, same as you,” Teddy answered.

Neville lifted his teacup, looking deep in thought as he sipped it slowly and watched Teddy as if appraising him. It was highly unnerving, and Teddy wondered if this was what Neville was like as a professor. There was something kind and welcoming about Neville’s presence, but sometimes there was a keenness and an edge most people overlooked. It was an intensity Teddy had rarely seen.

“Minerva told me James has sat in on a few of your NEWT-level Transfiguration lessons. Says he’s trying to help a few of the students struggling with the more advanced spellwork by gauging their body awareness and, well, she said a lot of stuff about it actually that went over my head.”

Teddy hunched his shoulders. “He’s helping the students. Minerva cleared it.”

Neville sighed softly, setting his teacup down and turning his eyes on Teddy. “I think you’ve misunderstood me. I wasn’t judging you. Even professors are allowed a personal life, and it’s clear he makes you happy. I still remember the way you looked when you first showed up here not much older than James was. You looked like you’d spook as easy as a nest of newborn Wrackspurts. But you settled in here and made a home and you’re an amazing professor, Teddy. You give Hogwarts and the students so much of yourself it's about time you found something that made you happy.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Teddy said, completely lost.

“James. He makes you happy. There’s no need to hide it. You’re both adults and no one is judging you for fancying James.”

Teddy’s eyes went wide and it took him a few seconds to realise the dying Erumpent noises were coming from him. 

“You alright?” Neville asked, placing a concerned hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t fancy James,” Teddy choked out. “I’m straight. Or well, possibly not entirely straight, but that doesn’t matter because I don’t fancy James.” 

The fact that Teddy had wondered a few times over the last few years if he might not be as straight as he’d once assumed seemed completely irrelevant. He was thirty-four years old for fuck’s sake. Surely that was too old to have a sexual crisis, especially about one’s own godbrother slash best friend whom you’d recently discovered you’d been taking for granted for a decade. That sounded messy and complicated, and if there was anything Teddy hated it was messy and complicated.

Neville dropped his hand looking abashed. “Alright, Teddy. My mistake. I’m sorry.”

Teddy didn’t seem to hear him, his ears ringing. “I don’t fancy James. It’s not my fault he’s fit and funny and wickedly smart and more fun to be around than anyone I’ve ever known. He’s perfect, anyone would—” he stopped blowing out a heavy breath of air and feeling as if his entire world had flipped upside down. When he looked up it was to see Neville offering him a knowing, sad smile. “Oh sweet Merlin, I fancy James,” Teddy whispered.

Teddy struggled to breathe. Did that mean he was gay? Or maybe bisexual like James? Did he fancy all men or just James? James had always been special. Maybe this was one more _James thing._

“I sort of thought you might,” Neville said kindly. 

“James is—”

“Standing right behind you,” James said, startling Teddy so much he knocked over his teacup. “Fucking shit,” Teddy all but yelled, earning him curious glances from the students who had begun to trickle in for breakfast. Before Teddy could react Neville withdrew his wand from his robes and vanished the mess.

“Easy there, Teds. Didn’t mean to scare you. I tried to wave to you and Neville when I came in but you two looked deep in conversation. Were you talking about me?” James asked with faux innocence, dropping down into the other empty seat on the opposite side of Teddy and stealing Teddy’s half-eaten piece of toast out of his hand.

“I was just telling Teddy how you and I were chaperoning the Hogsmeade weekend today,” Neville offered. Teddy couldn’t help but wonder when Neville had gotten so good at lying.

Teddy exhaled, offering Neville a grateful smile. It was way too fucking early for an existential sexuality crisis.

“In my day Hogsmeade weekends didn’t have chaperones,” James said around a mouthful.

“You’re the reason Hogsmeade needs chaperones,” Neville and Teddy said at the same time.

James finished chewing before pulling an indignant face. “I’ll have you know that Madam Rosmerta forgave me and I was able to pay off the damage in a few months.”

Teddy momentarily forgot his panic as he remembered Harry telling him about being called in to Hogsmeade to clean up James’s mess. It’d been an absolute disaster, and Teddy was ninety-nine percent certain James really was the reason chaperones for Hogsmeade weekends had become necessary, as every year some moronic and egotistical student tried to break James’s unofficial record for most Aurors called into Hogsmeade in one day.

“You know, I’ve suddenly just remembered that I promised to help Pomona repot the Mandrakes today. You don’t suppose you could take my place with James today do you, Teddy?” Neville asked. 

“Of course,” Teddy answered. He was pretty sure the Mandakes couldn’t be repotted for another two weeks, but he wasn't about to say that out loud.

Two hours later, walking down the pathway that led to Hogsmeade with James by his side, Teddy wasn’t entirely sure yes had been the right answer. He’d agreed because Teddy always agreed, and because spending time with James was always a no-brainer. Apparently Teddy’s brain had stopped working for a few minutes, because he’d failed to think about what it might feel like to stroll into Hogsmeade with James beside him. Granted, they weren’t students anymore, something Teddy could never forget with some of their own students saying “Hi professor” every five seconds as they were passed on either side for walking too slow. But all the same, Teddy couldn’t help but wonder what it might’ve been like if he and James had been able to remain close back then, if their age difference hadn’t completely separated them in their stages of life. Now six years felt like absolutely nothing, but back then it sure as shit had.

“You’re quiet today,” James observed, bumping his shoulder into Teddy.

“Just thinking,” Teddy answered, which wasn’t a lie. Leaving off the _about you_ part didn’t feel like a lie so much as an omission of the truth. A very necessary omission. 

“Yeah, well, all your thinking is making me hungry. We should go to Honeydukes first,” James said, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket. Today’s outfit was, well, Teddy wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was James’s usual athletic wear but dressed up, if athletic wear could ever be considered dressed up. He had on a pair of grey joggers that were thicker than usual, though his ankles were once again on display because the bottoms stopped just above the arch of his ankle bones. The slightly too-short joggers were made even more impractical by the lack of socks and the slightly shiny trainers James had on. On top James wore a soft-looking red cotton t-shirt and an unzipped black satin bomber jacket. The entire outfit was just this side of hideous, but somehow on James it worked and managed to make him seem effortlessly casual and cool. It was impossibly unfair, and Teddy glanced down at his own tan jumper and blue scarf at least a dozen times by the time they finally managed to get into Hogsmeade. 

“We’re supposed to be watching the students to make sure they don’t get themselves into trouble, not going on a sweets shopping spree,” Teddy said, desperately trying not to think about how ridiculously attractive James was. 

It made his insides feel like he’d performed a Slug-Vomiting Charm on himself. Now that Teddy was aware of what his eyes lingering on James or the way he always sought him out in a crowd meant, he had a hard time not looking at him. 

“No one said anything about about buying out the shop. I just want a packet of Ice Mice. Plus if Flynn finds out I was in Hogsmeade and didn’t pick him up a packet of sugar quills I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“You spoil him rotten,” Teddy said.

“Of fucking course I do. That’s the fun of being an uncle and not a parent,” James laughed, leaping over a pile of rocks. He slipped but before he could take a tumble into the unseasonable snow Teddy reached out to steady him. 

“Thanks,” James breathed. “These are possibly not the smartest shoes to have worn in the snow.”

“You think,” Teddy snorted, reluctant to release his hold on James’s arm. Luckily for Teddy, James didn’t seem to notice, his eyes bright as he grinned at Teddy. James took one step closer as a few snowflakes collected in his hair. Unable to resist Teddy, reached out to brush them aside, tucking the hair behind James’s ear.

James’s body went still, his mouth falling open as he emitted the smallest inhale. Teddy felt frozen, eyes riveted on the swoop of James’s eyelashes, the freckles across the bridge of his nose that stood out starkly against his pale skin and his full pink lips. 

“James,” Teddy breathed.

“Yeah?”

“I—” but Teddy’s words were cut off when a hard body slammed into them both sending him and James flying into the snow on their arses.

“Shit, sorry professors!” Gabby yelled. “I mean, not shit, just sorry. Fuck.” Behind her Trevor and Alicia began to snicker.

“You would’ve made a decent beater, Ms Grimblehawk,” James said, somehow managing to keep a straight face as he hopped up onto his feet and dusted the snow from his arse. “You’ve got a lot of power.”

“Sorry, Mr Potter,” Gabby said, not looking very sorry at all. “I was trying to beat Trevor and Alicia and I slipped on the ice.”

Teddy observed all of this from the ground, too startled to move. What in the actual fuck had he been doing? What had he been about to say? A love confession maybe. A kiss. He wasn’t sure which possibility was the more surprising. Fucking shit. 

“You alright there, Mr Lupin?” Trevor asked, his eyes darting between Teddy and James at an alarming rate. Alicia leaned in to whisper something to Trevor that had his eyes going wide and Teddy’s cheeks going warm despite having no idea what it was she’d said.

“I think Mr Lupin is suffering from low blood sugar. He clearly needs some chocolate,” James interrupted, leaning down and offering his hand to Teddy. Teddy accepted it, linking his fingers with James’s, surprised at how strong James’s grip was. Despite his smaller stature, James hefted him up as if Teddy were light as a feather, and unbidden thoughts of how strong and lithe James’s body were entered Teddy’s brain as he stumbled upright. 

“Easy there, Teds,” James whispered, loud enough for only Teddy to hear as he placed a steadying hand on Teddy’s waist. “You alright?”

Teddy swallowed, tilting his head down to stare at James. _James_. Merlin, James was handsome. 

“I’m fine,” Teddy lied, feeling anything but. 

It was as if a spell had been activated in his brain, and he couldn’t think about anything except James. Not that it was all that different if Teddy really thought about it, but at least before his brain had allowed him plausible deniability about the truth behind his wandering thoughts. Now that he knew what his thoughts about James’s smile or how fit he might be beneath his hideous athleisure meant, Teddy’s brain was now taking the thoughts _all the way_ and imagining all the things he wanted to do to James. Or have James to do him.

“We should leave Mr Lupin and Mr Potter alone,” Alicia said, tugging on Gabby’s hand.

“Sorry again, professors!” Gabby yelled as Trevor grabbed her other hand and he and Alicia tugged her down the bustling street towards Zonko’s Joke Shop.

“Ah, to be young and ridiculous,” James sighed dramatically as he watched them go, earning a snort from Teddy.

“You’re still ridiculous now, you know.”

James turned to look at Teddy over his shoulder with a smile that had his nose crinkling up adorably. “Too right you are, Teds. Life is too short to not have fun.”

Teddy’s stomach swooped again and he blew out a shuddering breath, willing his heart to stop beating out of his chest. 

“I think you said something about chocolate,” Teddy said, clearing his throat and shoving his hands into his trouser pockets to stop himself from doing something completely foolish and inappropriate again.

“I did,” James agreed, tilting his head towards the path that led to Honeydukes.

“You’re buying,” Teddy said, following alongside James.

“I think I could manage that,” James laughed, the sound like music to Teddy’s ears. Fuck, he had it bad. 

Teddy barely heard a word James said the entire walk to Honeydukes, too preoccupied by the casual brush of James’s shoulder against his or the fear of being caught staring at James. More than once he felt certain that a group of students’ giggles were directed at him and James, but since half of his students seemed prone to giggling in groups, there was a good possibility he was imagining it.

Honeydukes was as bustling as ever, and Teddy found himself pressed close to James’s back as they shouldered their way through the crowded shop. Almost immediately Teddy had a flashback to the last time he’d been in Honeydukes during his final year at Hogwarts buying Victoire sweets after taking her to Puddifoot's. Somehow being here again made Teddy feel all of seventeen again, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest when James waggled the biggest bar of Honeydukes Best Chocolate in his face and asked if Teddy was man enough to handle something that big.

“Sure,” Teddy answered, feeling his cheeks heat as several students bumped them trying to reach the display of chocolate bars behind Teddy.

James wrinkled his nose as he frowned, side-stepping the students and leading Teddy towards a quieter corner. “ _Sure_ you didn’t get some brain damage when you fell did you? You’re being weird.”

“I’m fine,” Teddy insisted. “Maybe I do have low blood sugar.”

“Want me to buy you this now?” James asked, shaking the bar near Teddy’s face.

“No, I can wait, let's finish your shopping first,” Teddy said, turning his head to peer at the display of Sugar Quills in the far corner of the shop beside the floating display of caramel apples and cauldron cakes. “You only wanted a few more things anyway. How long could it take, right?”

Forty minutes later Teddy was reminded of exactly why Honeydukes had always been his last stop in Hogsmeade and not his first. It was overcrowded, and no matter how nice the owners were they never seemed prepared for the swarms of students who flocked to the sweet shop desperate for the sense of freedom that came with having their own spending money, or clamoring for the abundance of delicious sweets. It didn’t seem to matter that half of the students regularly got care packages from home or that Hogwarts’ pudding was world-class, there was something euphoric about walking through Hogsmeade with a bag laden with Honeydukes confections.

“I’m not sure you bought enough,” Teddy deadpanned as they finally exited the shop. Teddy lifted an eyebrow at James who was carrying several wrapped boxes of Honeydukes Best Assorted Chocolates and a bag jammed packed with what Teddy felt certain was one of almost every single thing they sold except for acid pops, which James loudly insisted were an assault against humanity. Teddy’d thought it was bad when he assumed half of it was for Flynn, but he realised that only packet of sweets was for James’s nephew and the rest was for James and James alone.

“So I like a little something sweet after dinner, it’s not a crime,” James said, lifting his chin up.

Teddy snorted. “There’s nothing little about any of this.”

“Fine, maybe I like things big,” James countered. “I can handle it. I’m a big boy myself.” 

Teddy choked, his entire face warming at the innuendo. It shouldn’t have made Teddy stumble, shouldn’t have made his throat close off and his mouth dry because James was always making jokes laden with innuendo. It was just James. Teddy knew it didn’t mean anything, but it made him feel eighteen and blushing all over again. 

James, the absolute tosspot, laughed and winked at Teddy as he held out an arm. “Need a little help there, Teds?”

“I’m fine,” Teddy said again for what felt like the millionth time that day.

When Teddy didn’t take his arm James shrugged, shifting the packages under one arm so he could dig around in his bag. 

“Ah-ha!” James cried triumphantly a minute later, hand held up triumphantly with a prettily wrapped packet of Peppermint Toads clasped between his fingers. He held it out to Teddy looking pleased with himself.

“What’s this for?” Teddy asked, taking the packet of sweets and praying his hair wasn’t doing anything funny. He swallowed down the lump in his throat wondering if he were doomed to feel like a human disaster every time James did anything, especially something like _this_. Teddy hadn’t even noticed James slip the package onto the counter when he’d been paying, too distracted by James’s mere presence. “You already bought me two bars of chocolate. That was more than enough.” 

Teddy could pretend he didn’t know why James had bought him this exact sweet all he wanted, but deep down he knew.

“As if anyone could ever have enough sweets,” James laughed, shifting his packages back until he was comfortably holding them in front of his stomach with both hands. “Besides they were your favourite when we were kids. You used to save all your money and buy them, remember? I dunno, maybe you don’t like them anymore, but I saw them and just...yeah,” he trailed off, voice going quiet when Teddy continued to stare.

They are my favourite, Teddy thought. He knew most people hated them. He remembered being a first year and buying the lot on the trolley with the spending money Harry had pressed it into his hands before he’d hugged Teddy tight and whispered how proud he was of him. That feeling of euphoria had faded quickly when the other kids in his compartment had begun to tease him about it insisting that no one liked Peppermint Toads or the way they hopped in your stomach, and the fact that Teddy did was just proof what a weirdo he was. Teddy’s hair had turned an alarming shade of of purple that had led to even more laughter before he’d run and hid in the loo.

It hadn’t been the last time he’d eaten a Peppermint Toad, but it’d been the last time he’d eaten one in front of anyone else. After that he’d begun to lie and tell Harry and his gran that he’d lost his taste for them. Trust James to guess that might not have been the whole truth.

“Thanks,” Teddy whispered, the sound of the plastic crinkling as he immediately ripped it open echoing loudly in his ears. He reached in, knuckles brushing against the bag as he pulled out the small white toad on the top and popped it into his mouth. The sweet was just as he remembered—the intense sweetness countered by equally intense peppermint flavour—his tongue nearly burning from it’s sharpness. 

“Good?” James asked, falling into step alongside Teddy. Though James’s eyes weren’t on him, Teddy felt the weight of James’s attention on him all the same.

Teddy nodded even though James wasn’t watching him, swallowing it down and exhaling. His breath was cold as ice and burned like fire, his stomach jumping in a way that had nothing to do with the Peppermint Toad bouncing in his stomach.

“It’s perfect,” Teddy answered, eyes on James who seemed to have no idea Teddy wasn’t talking about the sweets as his eyes roamed up and down the snowy cobbled street.

“Fancy a butterbeer?” James asked as they neared the Hog’s Head.

“Are you sure you’re allowed back in there?” Teddy asked, only half joking.

“I bet Madam Rosmerta barely even remembers what happened. It’s been a decade,” James said, letting Teddy take the lead so he could push the door open. The second James stepped foot inside it became clear that she had not forgotten as her eyes went straight from the customer she was helping at the bar to James as if immediately drawn to his presence. “Afternoon, Madam Rosmerta, been a long time,” James said, unfussed by the multitude of eyes that swiveled around to watch them.

Like clockwork the students began to whisper, a dull chatter rising up as someone yelled, “Show us what you’ve got, Mr Potter!”

The students broke out in raucous laughter, clearly well-aware of James’s infamous sixth-year trip to Hogsmeade even if the story was supposed to have been covered up by the Aurors and McGonagall. Nothing in the wizarding world ever stayed a secret. Madam Rosmerta’s face was unreadable, the beer she’d been pulling overflowing all over the counter and the sleeves of her velvet robe. 

“Behave, Mr Denbright, or you’ll be walking straight back to Hogsmeade,” Teddy said, ignoring the way Madam Rosmerta let out a litany of foul language under her breath before apologising to the customer and vanishing the mess. “Move along, Jamie,” Teddy whispered, poking him in the back. When James didn’t move Teddy practically shoved him towards an empty booth in the corner out of Madam Rosmerta’s line of sight.

“She didn’t look happy to see me,” James observed, dropping his purchases onto the booth before sliding in. He looked genuinely surprised, and Teddy wasn’t sure whether or not to laugh at the forlorn expression on his face.

“She’s old. Memory like a hawk. Besides we’ve all got people who don’t like us,” Teddy said without thinking, unwinding his scarf and sliding into the booth opposite James.

James made a choking noise. “Everyone likes me.”

“I mean, for what it's worth I like you,” Teddy said, sensing that James wasn’t being dramatic and seemed genuinely put out at the idea of being disliked. 

“Only because you have to,” James grumbled, grabbing his bag and dropping it onto the table. He reached for a licorice wand and began to chomp on it, chewing aggressively.

Teddy startled at James’s words, unsure if he were joking. “That’s not true, James.”

“Oh, I was just kidding,” James said around a mouthful of licorice. He didn’t look like he was kidding, though. “Mostly. Anyway fancy getting me a butterbeer? Something tells me Madam Rosmerta wouldn’t be to keen to serve me if I went up there.”

“Of course,” Teddy answered, not wanting to push the subject. “Anything else?”

James shook his head, dropping his chin onto his hand and eyeing the pub.

By the time Teddy got back with two steaming pints of butterbeer, the table was littered in sweets wrappers and James’s smile still hadn’t returned.

“Wanna talk about it?” Teddy asked, pushing James’s drink towards him.

James sighed heavily, staring at the table as he wrapped his hands around his cup and pulled it close to his chest. He lifted it up, blowing a puff of steam towards Teddy before gingerly taking a sip. His eyes never left Teddy’s.

“I just...there were things I was always good at, you know. Quidditch and making people happy. Making people like me. I know it’s stupid but it..it felt good. And these last few months everything feels different, but I thought it would be alright, that not everything would have to change. I keep pretending I’m fine because everyone needs me to be fine but I miss playing so much sometimes it's hard to breathe and every time I get up in the air with the kids I have this urge to go a little higher and fly just a little faster and I don’t know if that will ever go away. And when it’s cold my knees and elbows ache and it makes me feel eighty not twenty-eight because of issues with the bone regrowth, and now someone hates me for some stupid prank I pulled when I was sixteen and its not fucking fair,” James said, slamming his cup down onto the table hard enough a bit of butterbeer splashed to the table. “I only did it because,” but James stopped, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes. “Fuck. Sorry.”

“Why the fuck are you saying sorry?” Teddy asked.

“For having a sweets-induced meltdown. Contrary to what it might look like, I don’t normally eat this many sweets. I gave them up when I was playing professionally because they were murder on my energy levels. But the last few months I’ve been....sneaking them in more and more. I think the sugar must’ve got to me. I don’t know why I said all that. I’m sorry, Teddy.”

“James, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“What the fuck for?” James asked.

“For doing anything that might make you think I had to like you. It’s the opposite really. I feel like I have to pretend with so many people all the time, and since you came to Hogwarts for the first time in a very long time I don’t feel like I’m pretending. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to be around you. I think I’d almost taken for granted how kind and funny and selfless you are because you were just always there being what people needed you to be. And I guess I just assumed you always would be.”

“It’s fine,” James said with a shrug of his shoulder, his words a clear echo of Teddy’s earlier. He licked his lips but didn’t avert his gaze despite the light flush beginning to bloom beneath his collar.

“So exactly what did happen with all this?” Teddy asked, waving his left arm around the pub as he took a drink of his butterbeer, the warmth seeping into his veins. Merlin, he’d almost forgotten how comforting a warm butterbeer on a frigid day could be. It’d been years since Teddy had ventured into Hogsmeade always managing to get another professor to cover his chaperoning duties since they all seemed to enjoy it, preferring to owl order everything he needed rather than deal with curious villagers wondering about Harry Potter’s reclusive godson. He’d always assumed people would whisper or stare, but aside from the students who were most definitely trying to eavesdrop on him and James now, no one was paying them any mind and hadn’t all day. It made something tight in Teddy’s chest unfurl, an unease he’d been carrying with him settle as he watched James from across the table.

“Ah well,” James began, his blush deepening even as he ducked his head, making a few stray hairs fall into his eyes. He peeked up at Teddy and brushed them aside. “Let’s just say it involved some nakedness, five hundred galleons worth of aged troll mead, and one of Aberforth’s goats.”

Teddy choked on his butterbeer.

“For fuck’s sake, Jamie.”

“You asked,” James laughed, holding his hands up.

“Not about that, I don’t want to know about that,” Teddy snorted. And he felt sure that was the truth—at least until twenty seconds later when the full reality of James’s words hit him. “Actually wait, I do want to know about that. In detail. You never did tell me what happened, and Harry refused no matter how pissed I got him and I sure as fuck wasn’t about to believe what the students say you did. So just...hold that thought. Especially the part about the goat. I just have one question.”

James smiled for the first time since they’d sat down. “Anything for you, Teds.”

Teddy refused to blush as he pushed his butterbeer out of the way and learned both his forearms on the table, his upper body poised atop the table. Something about Teddy’s body language must’ve unsettled James whose smile fell. He wiggled in his seat and tightened his hold on his butterbeer.

“James, are you a furry?”

Whatever James had expected Teddy to ask it clearly hadn’t been that as his mouth fell open in shock. “Fuck you!” he laughed, grabbing the thing nearest him—a wrapper from his licorice wands—balling it up, and chucking it at Teddy’s head. “I didn’t fuck the goat, okay. The goat was pissed.”

“The goat was pissed,” Teddy repeated, his stomach muscles quivering with repressed laughter. “Oh, that’s so much better, Jamie. I’m glad you understand the importance of consent.”

“Fuck you,” James said again, lifting his butterbeer to hide his face behind the glass. “I wouldn’t have fucked the goat sober either. I’m not a goat fucker!”

“You said that already,” Teddy said, some of his laughter leaking out into his voice.

James continued to drink but he made a rude gesture at Teddy.

“Seriously though,” Teddy said, “I do have one question.” At James’s silent nod Teddy continued, “Before, you said you only did it because...then you stopped. Because why?” 

“Ah that, don’t suppose you’ll forget I said that, will you?”

Teddy shook his head.

James nodded his head, tapping his fingers along the side of his glass. “It was Albus’s fourth year and he’d finally started talking to me that summer. _Really_ talking to me. You know that he was a prickly kid.” Teddy snorted. Prickly was a understatement. He’d been secretive and morose and sarcastic and more often than not resented James for his easy popularity. Sometimes Teddy marveled that the brothers who had once fought so much had ended up best friends. “Anyway, he’d started telling me things he never had before that year. The way people treated him. Things he heard students whisper in the hallways. I guess....people had started to spread a rumor that Albus was Salazar Slytherin’s descendant and was going to open the Chamber of Secrets again. Said just because dad was the Saviour didn’t mean he couldn’t have a kid that turned out rotten. He pretended he didn’t care what people thought, but fuck, Teddy, I’m his big brother and I couldn’t do anything to make people leave him alone.”

“You were protecting him,” Teddy offered softly. He pressed his knee against James’s beneath the table.

“I just thought if I pulled off that prank people might be start talking about me instead of Albus.”

“You’re a good brother.”

James shrugged. “Anyone would’ve done it.”

“Trust me James, anyone would not have done it. You’re outstanding.”

“I didn’t do it for people to say stuff like that,” James said, running his finger along the rim of his glass. The condensation collected on the tip of his pointer finger and unaware of Teddy’s gaze he lifted his finger up and popped it into his mouth sucking it off.

He watched James across the table, eyes roaming over the strong line of his jaw and the wave of freckles that spread across the bridge of his nose. He took in the messy tumble of James’s hair around his face and the strength in the hands wrapped about his glass. There was no doubt in Teddy’s mind then that he wasn’t straight. The realisation didn’t spur a wave of panic or uncertainty, but rather felt like accepting a piece of himself that had always been there.

“I know you didn’t,” Teddy acknowledged. “You did it because you’re James.”

James lifted his eyes to Teddy, a smile forming as he pulled his finger from his mouth. Teddy cleared his throat and rubbed his hand on his face. James had spent so much of his life watching out for everyone else, and the urge for Teddy to be the one to be able to protect James was nearly overwhelming in that moment. It should’ve terrified him to realise how much he cared about James, how much he would do to keep him happy, and yet all he could feel was a warmth settle in his chest as he felt a returning pressure against his own knee beneath the table.

Merlin, Teddy thought, I fancy James.

 

****

**~*~*~*~**

Although Teddy had unexpectedly accepted his quiet realisation about his sexuality and his feelings towards James without much internal panic, that didn’t mean he had any fucking idea what to do about it.

 _Later,_ Teddy repeatedly told himself. _I’ll deal with this later._

Except later never came. Days turned into weeks, and October turned into November, and still Teddy didn’t feel any closer to knowing what to do. 

He and James had fallen into a routine that felt more natural than all of Teddy’s previous years at Hogwarts. Life with James eclipsed everything, and Teddy could barely remember what things had been like before James had come to Hogwarts. Teddy tried to imagine how he’d survived grading his papers on Friday nights without James’s cold toes shoved under his arse, or how he’d lived without finding sweets tucked into his bookshelf or shoved into the sofas cushions as if James were some sort of sugar Niffler building a stash. He had no recollection of what mornings had been like in the Great Hall without James’s smile and laughter to greet him each day—brighter than the dawn and warmer than the sun.

James had slotted himself into Teddy’s life, and being around him felt as natural as breathing. 

It came as little surprise when Teddy rushed to the Great Hall on the first Saturday morning in December, starving and exhausted, to see James was already sitting in the seat beside Teddy’s usual. It was unusual for Teddy to be the last professor down for breakfast, but he’d had a sleepless night and missed his alarm. 

“Morning, Teddy,” James said, pulling the chair out for Teddy. He reached for his wand that was sitting beside his plate, and with an easy flick of his wrist he sent the teapot floating into the air as it poured into his cup.

“Thanks,” Teddy said, pulling the chair up beneath him and beginning to fill his plate. He added an extra slice of toast knowing James was likely to steal one of his even though there was plenty of unclaimed toast sitting within his reach.

“Was about to send a Patronus and make sure you were still alive,” James teased, playfully nudging his shoe against Teddy’s ankle beneath the table.

“My being late isn’t that unexpected,” Teddy countered, spreading a hefty amount of the strawberry jam James liked on one of the triangles of toast and moving it towards the edge of his plate closest to James. 

“You never do anything out of your routine or unexpected,” James said. 

“I do too,” Teddy argued, though the second the words were out of his mouth he knew they weren’t true. “Alright fine, maybe I don’t.”

“Told you,” James bragged, sounding pleased with himself. 

Exactly as predicted, the moment James realised Teddy had toast on his plate he snaked a hand out and stole the piece with jam on it, waggling his eyebrows at Teddy as he lifted it up and took a large bite. A thick glob of bright red jam lingered on the top of James’s lip beside a small cluster of freckles and Teddy willed away the fluttering sensation building in his chest as James’s tongue swiped out to lick it away.

“We still playing chess after breakfast?” James asked, taking another bite of the toast. 

“Of course,” Teddy answered, spearing a sausage. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“No reason. I was just thinking,” but he broke off, eyes widening. “Oh mail’s here early,” James observed excitedly.

“Expecting something?” Teddy asked. He wasn’t used to James looking at the incoming flock of owls with such anticipation.

“I firecalled mum and dad last night and they were watching Flynn, said he’d been colouring all night. Dad said Flynn was gonna send me something this morning with their owl.”

Teddy smiled, well aware how much Flynn’s crayon correspondence meant to him.

“You’ll have to show me,” Teddy said, scooping up a mouthful of scrambled eggs. 

“Course,” James answered, leaning over Teddy to steal the second piece of toast off his plate though it was only buttered and had no jam.

“You know there’s a pile of toast right there,” Teddy said around his mouthful of food, pointing his finger at the silver tray piled high with toast.

“Tastes better when it’s yours,” James said with a shrug. “But I can stop if it bothers you.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

Seconds later several familiar owls swooped down towards the head table—always last on the mail delivery circuit—depositing parcels and letters to the various professors as well as copies of the morning pape. Last in line was the Potter family owl—old and gray and absolutely pathetic with his ruffled feathers—dropping a folded piece of parchment covered in bright scribbles right in front of James followed by an unfamiliar owl dropping off a copy of the _Daily Prophet_. James wrinkled his nose as he picked it up and threw it to Teddy. “I don’t have a subscription to this, must’ve been an accident. Be a mate and check and see if they’ve got put in the Quidditch Fantasy League updates in the sports pages. Might as well check since it’s here and all. Waste not want not as Gran always says.”

“Yes, sir,” Teddy laughed, heart fluttering unpredictably at the smile that graced James’s face as he opened the letter from Flynn. Teddy was so preoccupied with the look of happiness on James’s face it took him a few seconds to realise he’d promised to check the _Prophet_. He shoved one more bite of eggs into his mouth before untying the twine and rolling open the paper, intent on ignoring everything in the beginning to slip straight for the sports pages. Teddy’s plan was foiled when he recognized the smile blooming on the massive photo that covered half the front page.

 _Impotence and Infertility: The Truth behind James Potter’s Fall from Fame_ was splashed across the front of the paper in bold letters above a photo of James from just before his accident. In the photo James threw his head back and laughed with his entire body moments before mounting his broom and taking off for the last professional game of his life. It was like a hex to the heart and Teddy felt the air leave his lungs, his hands fumbling as he turned the page. He checked to make sure James wasn’t watching him but James was still smiling down at the stack of drawings from Flynn.

Sickness building, Teddy began to skim the article.

__

_The Daily Prophet has recently received confirmation that not all is as it seems with James Sirius Potter, the eldest child of Ginny and Harry Potter whose wild escapades as a teen were eclipsed only by his skill on the Quidditch pitch. He quickly rose to fame after joining Puddlemere United at nineteen and led England to victory in the World Cup._

_In fact, Mr Potter was even a regular feature in our world-renowned paper until he slipped into hiding and joined the ranks of Hogwarts’ untraditional and quirky team of professors. (This paper would never question the hiring capabilities of Hogwarts’ Headmistress, but the wizarding population at large must ask themselves if Hogwarts is really in good hands. First a Metamorphmagus Transfiguration professor, then an American teaching ancient runes, and now an openly bisexual ex-Quidditch player with few qualifications aside from good looks)._

_A source who desires to remain anonymous tells us she had an intimate dalliance with Mr Potter mere days before he officially became a Hogwarts professor, and he had trouble staying up in more than just the air . Even more salacious, our source tells us Mr Potter confessed in heartfelt tears that his greatest dream of having a family had been crushed along with his ability to satisfy a lover._

_We understand it must be hard to imagine Mr Potter this way, but the facts speak for themselves. Our source and this paper are hard-pressed to find another reason someone wealthy, attractive, and famous would hide themselves away in a decrepit castle unless they had something to hide._

_The Daily Prophet has always sought to bring its readers the truth no matter how difficult it might be…”_

“The Falcons dropped?” James interrupted, poking Teddy’s bicep and startling him. “Told you there was no way they’d overtake the Harpies this week.”

Teddy jumped, slamming the paper down onto the table. Bile rose in his throat, and he rapidly became aware of the unnatural silence in the Great Hall.

“Don’t tell me,” James tried to guess, completely unaware of what Teddy had been reading or the whispers and stares directed their way, “The Cannons took the top spot? Merlin, Uncle Ron would be so happy.”

“It’s not the Cannons,” Teddy whispered. 

“Well, what the bloody hell has you looking like you’ve seen a Boggart?” James asked. It was like watching from outside his own body as James furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and snatched the paper from Teddy, who was too shocked to stop him.

James’s expression as he opened the paper to see his own face staring back at him was a look that would be burned into Teddy’s brain forever. Shock, confusion, and _pain_ were written there with such intensity Teddy felt the manifestation of them in his heart. 

Teddy understood then what James must have felt every time he’d done something crazy to take the attention off the people he loved. Helplessness and a need to do something raged within Teddy as he stared at James and knew with unfaltering clarity that he was in love with him. 

“Fucking _Daily Prophet_ at it again,” he said, lips tightened into a thin line. There was a barely noticeable tension in the tightening of his shoulders and the tiniest tremors in his fingers.

“James,” Teddy began, not a clue what he was going to say.

“It’s fine, they’re always writing stuff like this. It was naive of me to think they’d leave me alone just because I wasn’t playing anymore, although this is a lot even for them.” He crumpled up the paper and pushed it towards the edge of the table. “It’s not true though, you know,” James added softly. “I never slept with some random woman before coming here. I wouldn't...I don’t do that. I don’t sleep around.”

James cleared his throat, trying to put on a smile that didn’t reach his eyes when he looked up and realised nearly the entire student population was staring at them. The whispers grew to a low rumble, several of the students rising to stand on the benches to get a better view. James turned to look down the long head table and Teddy followed his line of sight to see the rest of the professors were watching him with varying levels of pity and sadness.

Teddy tried to recall a time where he’d ever seen James look quite so blindsided or so unsure of what to do. James always seemed confident and in control, and the sight of him floundering—of him so undeniably hurting—made Teddy react without thinking.

Teddy stood so abruptly he sent his chair flying backwards, the heavy wood slamming into the floor with a loud thud that echoed around the room. Teddy’d wondered what he could do to gain attention, but his impulsiveness answered that for him as almost everyone’s eyes swiveled from James to Teddy. If he looked as wild as he felt, he couldn’t blame them.

“Teddy, what are you doing,” James hissed, eyes darting back and forth from Teddy to the onlooking students as Teddy reached for his wand.

“What you deserve,” Teddy answered before reaching for his wand. “ _Sonorous_ ,” he whispered. He cleared his throat to test the spell was working and the sound reverberated loudly off the stone walls. Teddy spared a quick glance to his side just in time to witness Neville grinning behind his teacup as he slid what looked suspiciously like a Galleon across the table to Minerva before he turned his attention back on James.

“James Sirius Potter,” Teddy started, his cheeks heating when several students began to whistle. He ignored them, the same way he ignored how his hair was turning bubblegum pink or the way he felt like he might chunder at any moment. James. This was for James, and James was worth everything.

James’s mouth fell open as he stared at Teddy wide-eyed and disbelieving. 

“I uh, wow I didn’t plan this,” Teddy said, willing away the buzzing noise in his ears. James bit his lip and smiled and though the students had begun to murmur with excitement, James clearly only had eyes for Teddy, which bolstered his nerves. Fuck, but James made him feel brave. James made Teddy feel a lot of things he never thought he’d feel—settled and safe, _loved_ in a way not even Teddy’s self-doubt could taint. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say that Mr Potter coming to teach here has been one of the greatest things to ever happen to Hogwarts.” Here Teddy had to pause as the students began to scream and clap, bursts of fireworks shooting from the tips of several seventh-year Gryffindors’ wands as they began to pound on the table loudly. Teddy swallowed, fighting back the tears as he watched the kind of loyalty and pride James inspired in people.

Teddy turned and smiled at the students, lifting a finger to his mouth. Many of them let out one more whistle but they laughed and cheered softly as they settled in their seats, quieting down so Teddy could finish.

“It’s not James’s skill on the Quidditch pitch that makes him so astounding, though Merlin knows he’s got talent and commitment in surplus. It’s something innately James and the way he encourages and supports people to follow their dreams and be their best self. He’s funny and kind and breathtakingly unselfish.”

Teddy turned his eyes back on James who was breathing slowly, his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes bright. “You don’t have to do this,” James whispered.

“I know I don’t. I want to,” Teddy answered. “I’ve never wanted to do anything more in my entire life. Teddy held out his hand and James’s lips turned up in a smile as he reached out to link their fingers. Teddy exhaled slowly, every bit of fear ebbing away as James’s thumb rubbed circles across the top of his hands. “My name is Teddy Lupin. I’m your Transfiguration professor. I’m a proud Hufflepuff and a Metamorphmagus and I’m pansexual.”

The noise from the students was nearly deafening as they leaped from their seats and began to cheer. Teddy laughed, the lightness and pride he felt completely unexpected. He’d known it for weeks, the truth settling in his chest as something undeniably real. He understood now that it wasn’t something he’d become, but something he’d always been but had been too afraid to examine closely lest it be one more thing that made him different or one more thing that might garner him attention or scandal. “Wow, that’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud.” 

Belatedly Teddy realised Hagrid, Minerva, and Neville were clapping, and he blew out a shuddering breath as he raised his voice, “Oh, and I’m in love with Mr Potter.”

Teddy hadn't thought the students could get louder, but louder they became until Teddy was casting _Finite Incantatem_ and turning his gaze on James. 

“Probably should’ve told you first, yeah?” Teddy laughed.

For one dizzying moment Teddy fretted he’d misread the situation as James continued to sit and gape at him as if he’d never seen Teddy before. “You gonna say something, Jamie?” Teddy whispered, heart thudding so loudly in his chest he could barely hear the words fall from his mouth.

Unfortunately, James didn’t say anything to that either, jumping up from his chair and shooting his right hand out to fist in the front of Teddy’s yellow jumper. One moment they were in the Great Hall and the next moment Teddy felt the familiar but entirely unexpected tug of Side-Along-Apparition as the Great Hall disappeared in a swirl, and the next thing he knew he and James were in the middle of what Teddy could only assume was James’s bedroom. Teddy’d never been in the bedroom before but everything from the Snitch clock on the end table nearly hidden behind sweets wrappers, to the star sheets and the broom against the wall screamed James. 

Teddy didn’t have long to marvel at the contrast between James’s living room and bedroom because he was too shocked by how exactly they’d arrived there.

“You...what...how?” Teddy gaped, unable to string two words together.

“You’ve got time enough for one question before I snog you senseless Teddy Lupin.”

The blood rushed to Teddy’s face as he blinked at James. “So you feel the same way then?”

“Do I?” James spluttered, pulling Teddy down for a searing kiss. James’s lips were warm and chapped, and he smelled like fresh air from the early morning flying he must’ve done. The kiss was short and tame, but Teddy wasn’t sure the touch of anyone else’s lips had ever felt so electric. When James pulled out of the kiss Teddy couldn’t help but bring his own fingers up to brush them across his own lips, almost unable to believe James had just kissed him. “Of course I love you! There’s never been a moment in my life when I wasn’t in love with you, you absolute tosspot.”

“You...wait, you’ve _been_ in love with me? For how long?” Teddy asked, realising he was now allowed to touch James as much as he wanted. Or at least he was pretty sure he was allowed to. He gingerly reached a hand out to cup the side of James’s face, and James exhaled slowly as he pressed his cheek against the palm of Teddy’s hand.

“Dunno...maybe forever.”

“Shit, James. I’m sorry.”

James shook his head, turning his nose into Teddy’s palm and kissing along the scar Teddy’d had since he was nine and fell out of the tree in the Potters’ garden. Usually Teddy morphed away his scars, but for once he didn’t feel the need. James pressed his lips to the scar and began to speak.

“Don’t be sorry. My feelings for you never came with conditions. I wasn’t pining in a dark room sad and depressed. I’ve had a fucking incredible life and I have amazing friends and family, you included. I never thought you’d feel the same way back, and I made peace with that a long time ago. I was happy then.”

“And now?” Teddy asked, shivering as James’s lips mouthed across the palm of his hand until James was kissing the inside of his wrist. 

“Now,” James shuddered, biting his lip as he turned hooded eyes on Teddy, “now I’m happier. Now I want to press you back into my bed and make you mine. Wanna touch you and kiss you and find out all the ways to make you lose control. Wanna know what you sound like when you come, wanna know what makes you feel good.”

“Merlin, Jamie, you’re gonna kill me,” Teddy exhaled, the back of his knees hitting the bed as James began to walk him backward. 

“Not yet I’m not, maybe later,” James said with a wink, placing his palms on Teddy’s chest and grinning as he pushed him back hard enough for Teddy to fall onto James’s bed with an audible _ooph._ James followed suit, straddling Teddy on the edge of the bed as he reached for the hem of his hoodie.

“Wait,” Teddy said, placing a hand on top of James’s to stop him, “I forgot to ask you something. How the fuck did you Apparate us here? You can’t Apparate in Hogwarts!”

James’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he shook his head, ignoring Teddy’s question as he yanked off his hoodie and the t-shirt beneath it. The action ruffled his ponytail and left a few stray pieces falling down into his eyes.

“You wanna talk magical theory or fuck?” James asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Fuck,” Teddy answered so quickly James let out a belly-shaking laugh. 

Teddy thought he should’ve been nervous lying in bed with a man for the first time. Not just a man but James. And yet all Teddy could do was join James in laughter as he reached out to ghost his fingers along the curve of James’s side, letting his fingers connect James’s freckles like a dot to dot. 

James paused mid-laughter as Teddy’s fingers drifted towards the softness beneath his belly button, clearing his throat and averting his eyes. “I’m afraid you are not getting _Witch Weekly’s_ centerfold James Sirius Potter,” he said clearly trying and failing to sound like he was joking.

Teddy pressed both hands into James’s stomach. Teddy knew exactly what photo James meant. It’d been a charity spread for _Witch Weekly_ right after the World Cup. James had been wearing nothing but his Quidditch trousers and his leather clothes, his body gleaming with oil and every single muscle in his body taut. He’d been undeniably attractive, but Teddy’d been of the private opinion that James looked like he wasn’t allowed to eat or even drink any bloody water.

Now though, now James was fit in a way that felt real. His body was still lithe and strong but there was a small swell to his belly, a softness to him as Teddy dug his fingers in that spoke of the life James had now. James’s body was real, every inch of it forged from the new life he and Teddy were sharing together, and Teddy found him more beautiful for it.

“You’re perfect,” Teddy said, thumbs digging softly into the skin.

James’s chest quivered as he turned surprised eyes on Teddy who used James’s shock to his advantage, moving his hands to Jame’s hips and flipping them over so that James was the one pinned beneath Teddy. “So fucking perfect,” Teddy said again.

“Careful Teds, you might give me a big head,” James teased.

“I can’t believe you just went there,” Teddy snorted. “You’re awful.”

James laughed again, the sound reverberating off the walls as James tried to arch his hips up beneath Teddy. “It is getting big.”

He waggled both eyebrows and Teddy dropped down chest to chest to bury his face in James’s neck in a futile attempt to mask his own laughter.

“Oh, I see how it is,” James said with faux casualness, hands moving beneath the hem of Teddy’s jumper to stroke warm fingers along his back. “I show a bit of skin and you laugh. Very mature, Teddy.”

For some reason this set Teddy off again and his stomach shook against James’s as tears leaked from his eyes. Teddy wasn’t sure he’d ever laughed so much with a partner. He wasn’t used to his arousal being equally matched with his amusement. Fuck, but James was fun.

Teddy pulled back, blinking away his mirth and hovering a few inches above James who looked equally happy. “Merlin, I like you so much.”

“Yeah, you might’ve mentioned that before,” James breathed, his hands still caressing whatever skin he could reach. “You could say it again though. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Fuck, I can’t believe I really did that,” Teddy laughed.

“Me either,” James agreed, hands urging Teddy down on top of him again. Teddy allowed himself to be moved, feeling James’s hardness against his own as he pressed his hips down. Teddy had no idea what he was doing but if the grunt James let out was any indication, he was clearly on the right path.

“Fuck, do that again,” James gasped, nails digging into Teddy’s back as he arched up.

Teddy bent his head, stealing James’s lips in another kiss as he rolled his hips against James. James let out another noise that Teddy swallowed greedily, halfway to drunk on the realisation that James was apparently as noisy in bed as he was out of it.

Unexpectedly James broke out of the kiss and Teddy felt a whine of disappointment slip from his mouth. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” James answered breathlessly, but you’ve got on too many fucking clothes. I just..fuck, I need to touch you.”

James sounded as desperate as Teddy felt, and Teddy shifted himself up onto his knees to yank off his jumper. Beneath him James toed off his trainers and hooked his thumbs into his waistband.

Teddy felt frozen in place watching James push them down and he nearly fell off the bed in his haste to get off of James’s thighs so he could finish undressing. There was nothing overtly sexual about watching James disrobe, and that was exactly what made it so erotic for Teddy. There was a confidence in the way he got naked without an air of cockiness or bashfulness. James’s body was a thing of beauty—undeniable strength beneath the softness, freckled and scarred and breathtakingly real.

With shaking hands Teddy put his hands back on James’s stomach, feeling it quiver beneath his touch as he began to drag his hands lower. His thumbs traced the dark trail of hair that led to James’s cock, which was hard and thick and lying flush against his hip. Unable to stop himself from marvelling at the reality of having James beneath him like this, Teddy reached out and caressed James’s cock with one finger. Realising what he was doing, Teddy pulled his hand back and blushed.

“Sorry I’ve...I’ve never been with another man before. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re good, Teddy. You can touch me any way you want. I promise you there’s nothing you could want to do to me I wouldn’t like, but if there was you can trust that I’d tell you,” James said, leaning up on one elbow and reaching out to take Teddy’s hand and move it back to his hip.

“I just want it to be good for you too,” Teddy breathed, unable to stop the tremor of his fingers as he traced them down the juncture of James’s hips, letting his nails drag over the thick cluster of freckles there.

“It is, fuck Teddy, it’s good because it’s you. You could come five seconds after getting your cock in me and it’d still be perfect because it’s me and you.”

“Five seconds,” Teddy laughed, spreading his fingers out and dragging them over the thin sheen of hair on James’s thighs, heart racing as James shifted his hips and spread his legs wider.

“Ten?”

Teddy snorted, pinching the sensitive underside of James’s left thigh.

“Oh kinky, Mr Lupin,” James laughed.

Teddy groaned. “Merlin, don’t call me that in bed. It reminds me of my students.”

James laughed again, and Teddy surged up the bed, desperately needing to kiss James, to feel his full lips against his own. James let out a small noise of surprise but seemed delighted, lifting his head to deepen the kiss as his hands snaked around to undo the button on Teddy’s jeans. Getting his jeans and shoes off without breaking the kiss was difficult, but somehow Teddy managed and the feeling of James’s bare skin against his own was almost too much to bear as Teddy groaned into the kiss and fisted his hands into the duvet.

“Did you mean what you said before?” Teddy asked in between kisses.

James didn’t answer, instead pulling Teddy’s bottom lip into his mouth and sucking hard as he rutted up against Teddy. The friction was nearly unbearable as his own cock leaked enough precome for their cocks to slide together easily.

“Jamie,” Teddy groaned.

James released Teddy’s lip, his eyes wide and his lips kiss swollen as he dropped his head back onto the bed and blinked up at Teddy. “Yeah?”

“Did you mean what you said before?” Teddy asked again. “About me fucking you.”

“I mean everything I say,” James answered, rolling his hips up.

Teddy bit back a moan. “If you really want me to last more than ten seconds you should probably stop.”

James stilled his hips, his legs falling flat onto the bed as he flung a hand and wandlessly Summoned a vial of lubricant from his bedside drawer.

“Merlin, it’s hot when you do that,” Teddy whispered.

James grinned. “You’re hot when you do everything.”

Teddy felt the blush from the tips of his toes to the tips of his hair which turned pale pink as he threaded his fingers into James’s empty hand and leaned down for a single chaste kiss.

“There are spells for the prep, or you can do it by hand. Or I can. Whatever you’re comfortable with,” James told him, squeezing his hand once. And Teddy knew it was the truth, knew that James wasn’t begrudging his lack of knowledge or experience. Something about that made Teddy feel safe—made Teddy feel brave.

“Can we do both?” Teddy asked quietly, stroking his thumb along the side of James’s hand. “I uh...I’m not sure I know what I’m doing yet. I don’t wanna hurt you but I want—” Teddy paused, exhaling slowly. Fuck, he hadn’t thought it would be so hard to say it out loud. He wasn’t ashamed of what he wanted, and he knew James wasn’t going to think any differently about him, but somehow he couldn’t get the words out.

James seemed to know exactly what he meant anyway. “Wanna put your fingers in me, Teddy? Wanna stretch me open for you? You want to touch me?”

Teddy closed his eyes and nodded, his grip on James’s hand hard enough to bruise. “I want to touch you. I want to learn every inch of your body. Wanna fuck you with my fingers and my mouth and my cock. I want to know what makes you feel so good you can’t do anything but say my name.”

“Fuck,” James bit out. “Fuck, yes. Please.”

At that Teddy opened his eyes, surprised to hear a tremor in James’s voice. Teddy unlinked their fingers so James could fumble with the lube, uncorking the vial and dumping a generous amount onto Teddy’s fingers before he wandlessly cast a spell that Teddy didn’t recognise but he assumed was for some aspect of preparation. Teddy made a mental note to ask James about it or do some research later, later when his cock wasn’t aching and he didn’t have the man of his dreams naked beneath him and waiting to be fucked.

Fuck. This was really happening, and Teddy felt weak as he crawled down the bed. James scooted up, planting his feet on the bed and widening his legs to make plenty of room for Teddy.

“Ready?” Teddy asked, dragging the tip of his finger along the inside of James’s thigh and leaving a sticky trail in his wake.

“Yes, Merlin, yes.”

Teddy swallowed down his nerves, eyes taking in the movement of James’s cock twitching against his stomach as Teddy ran his pointer finger around the furrowed skin of James’s arsehole. He did it again and again and though James’s legs began to tremble he didn’t urge Teddy to hurry up or question him, letting Teddy explore at his own pace.

Teddy let his cheek rest against James’s left knee as he finally pressed the first finger in. It slipped in without resistance, and though Teddy knew it was likely due to the spell it didn’t diminish the awe he felt at the unexpected warmth and tightness. He pulled it all the way out and then pressed it back in again aroused and excited by the new sensation.

He looked up to see James was watching him as he pressed a second finger in and the sight of James’s eyes fluttering in pleasure made it hard for Teddy not to rub himself against the mattress. He was starting to think James hadn’t been far off with the five second nonsense because at this rate the sight alone of James getting off on being touched by Teddy was almost enough to make him come.

“You look so good,” Teddy praised, trailing open-mouthed kisses up and down the inside of James’s thighs as he pumped his fingers in and out. The angle felt a little awkward and he wasn’t sure if he was going too fast or too slow but James didn’t seem to have any complaints. In fact James didn’t seem capable of words at all as he screwed his eyes shut and threw an arm over his face. Teddy would’ve been worried something was wrong if not for the openly wanton moans of pleasure James was letting out.

James’s previous words urging him on, Teddy let his kisses continue lower and lower, from the juncture of his hip down to the swell of his arse against the duvet and Teddy abruptly pulled his fingers out only to replace them with his mouth a moment later. James keened, letting out a desperate sound like a wounded animal as his hands flew to the sheets. He fisted them tightly, his mouth falling open in a silent sob as Teddy mouthed at the skin, pulling James’s cheeks open wider and his nose pressed up against James’s balls as he pressed his tongue inside as deep as it could go.

“Fucking, fuck,” James bit out, slamming his hand down into the bed.

Teddy’s entire body flushed with pride at being able to make James feel that good. 

This was something Teddy had fantasised about doing with previous lovers, but had the courage to bring up in bed. He’d thought about doing it to James an embarrassingly large number of times in the last few weeks, but he hadn’t been sure he’d be able to ask for what he wanted. It came as a rather large surprise for Teddy to find he felt neither hesitant or unsure as he licked and sucked. It wasn’t exactly graceful, and the harsh panting and the slurping in the room were positively salacious, but there was something unexpectedly sweet about it, about James trusting Teddy enough to do this.

“Teddy, if you don’t fuck me right now I’m going to be the one coming in five seconds,” James yelled, reaching out to fist his hand in Teddy’s hair and try to pull him up.

Teddy inhaled sharply, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and trying not to blush as he sat back on his heels and stared at James’s arse dripping with spit and precome.

“Can we do this again?” Teddy blurted out, feeling stupid because how could they do it again when they hadn’t even done it yet. “Er, I mean, you know. Often. Or uh...fuck. You know what I mean.”

James’s entire face crinkled up as he smiled. “You bet your fucking arse we can.”

Teddy laughed, the small knot of unease that was left around his heart unwinding. Everything about being with James felt as easy as breathing. He even made being Teddy feel easy which was something he hadn’t known was possible.

Loving James was like bottling up the warmth of the sun and carrying it around in his pocket, never having to be afraid of being cold or alone. He was everything good and pure that Teddy had ever known.

“Can I fuck you now?” Teddy asked, reaching out to caress the side of James’s face. He let his hand continue farther until it reached the back of James’s head and he tugged on the hairband watching James’s auburn waves fall down around his face.

“Yes,” James whispered.

“How should we do this?” Teddy asked.

“I have an idea but I’m not sure—”

“Yes,” Teddy answered. 

James bit his bottom lip and nodded, hands on Teddy’s shoulders as he switched their positions. Teddy tried to mask his confusion as James pushed him down onto his back against the mass of pillows but his curiosity was quickly satiated as James straddled his waist and grabbed ahold of Teddy’s cock before beginning to slide down on it.

“Oh fuck,” Teddy groaned, watching the muscles in James’s strong thighs quiver as he began to fuck himself on Teddy’s cock.

“Yeah, fuck,” James agreed, tipping his head back as he rose and fell. Teddy threw his right hand out to grip James’s hip, thumb pressing into the fluttering tattoo.

Teddy’s mouth fell open but no words would come out, only broken sobs as James moved above him and it was all Teddy could do to dig his hands into the meaty flesh of James’s thighs in a futile attempt to anchor himself as James set up a nearly brutal pace that only someone with James’s years of physical conditioning could have maintained without breaking a sweat.

James began to pant, dropping his hands onto the pillows on either side of Teddy’s head as Teddy planted his feet on the bed and was finally able to match James’s thrusts with the new position.

“Teddy, oh, Teddy,” James breathed.

Teddy nuzzled his nose against James’s cheek, planted kisses to the side of James’s mouth as James’s hair tickled his face.

“Feels so good,” Teddy exhaled, never one for a lot of talking during sex but unable to keep his feelings inside.

James let out a whimper, dropping his forehead against Teddy’s and panting.

“Touch me, please. Fuck, please, Teddy.”

Teddy’s arousal built as their bodies moved together. He reached between them, wrapping his hand around James’s cock and wholly unprepared for the cry James emitted as Teddy’s fingers wrapped around him and began to stroke.

“Fuck Jamie,” Teddy bit out, frantically stroking him in time with James’s thrusts.

James’s entire body stilled as he shoved his face into Teddy’s neck and let out a guttural groan that filled Teddy with unbridled desire as he thrust his own hips up hard one, twice more before he began to come as James spilled his own release between them.

James shuddered as Teddy continued to stroke him, his own hips thrusting up slowly as he rode out his orgasm.

“You alright?” Teddy asked, brushing the hair from James’s face and kissing his forehead.

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” James huffed, his eyes still shut.

“You can if you want,” Teddy told him, still stroking his fingers through James’s sweat dampened hair.

“You alright, Teds?” James asked, kissing the hollow of Teddy’s throat once before settling onto his shoulder.

Teddy hummed, threading his fingers into James’s hair as his other arm wound it’s way around James’s back, not that James had made any indication of moving at all, but Teddy didn’t want to take any chances. “Never better. You?”

“Fucking fantastic,” James answered. “Well sticky, but fantastic.”

“Mmm, I don’t wanna find my wand to clean us up,” Teddy said, not caring if his sounded a bit petulant about it. He tightened his hold on James just to be safe.

James laughed, the sensation rumbling Teddy’s chest as James’s muttered a quiet cleaning spell against Teddy’s neck. Teddy shivered as the tingling sensation enveloped him and he pressed another kiss to James’s forehead.

“You’re useful, I should keep you around.”

“Thanks ever so much,” James snorted as he began to trace a circle on Teddy’s hip. “My boyfriend the comedian.”

Teddy inhaled slowly, chest fluttering at that simple word from James. _Boyfriend._

“Hey, James,” Teddy began, “I was thinking we should cancel our chess game later today.”

“Oh yeah and why’s that? Planning for round number two already?”

“No, well, yes. But later. I was thinking maybe this morning we could go flying.”

James’s hand stilled at Teddy’s hip as he lifted his head to red his chin on Teddy’s shoulder, eyes boring into Teddy. “Flying?”

Teddy tried to keep his voice light. “Yes.”

“But you’re scared of heights.”

“I’m not so scared with you,” Teddy whispered, hoping James knew he was referring to a lot more than flying.

James swallowed, lifting himself up the bed to place both his hands on Teddy’s cheeks as he pressed their lips together in a bruising kiss that left Teddy in no doubt that James had understood.

“I love you so much, Teddy Lupin.”

“I love you too,” Teddy whispered, knuckles grazing across the side of James’s cheek.

“You know you could uh...wear my jumper later. The yellow one. When we go flying. If you want to,” Teddy said, averting his eyes and feeling more shy than when he’d had his tongue shoved up James’s arse.

“You’re...oh. Your favourite jumper,” James whispered, cottoning on. “Everyone will know.”

Teddy laughed. “Pretty sure they knew the moment I announced it loudly in the Great Hall over breakfast.”

“Yeah, but now they’ll _know_ ,” James said. “I just...I know how much your privacy means to you.”

“It doesn’t mean as much to me as you do,” Teddy answered. “You don’t have to wear it. It was a silly idea I just—”

But James was already moving, rolling off of Teddy. “ _Accio_ jumper,” he said, in lieu of actually getting off the bed and walking the three feet to get it. It flew straight into his hands, and James pulled it on. It was at least a full size too big, hanging off to one side and revealing the smattering of freckles along James’s collarbones and hanging long on his wrist. And he hand on no pants beneath it. He looked well-fucked and happy, and he was wearing Teddy’s favourite jumper and Teddy felt like he might burst from so much happiness.

“Ah, I love my new jumper,” James said, collapsing back onto the bed and throwing an arm and a leg over Teddy, his soft cock nestled into Teddy’s hip.

“Oi, no one said it was your jumper. It’s still mine. You’re just borrowing it.”

“Nuh-uh, I distinctly recall you telling me it was mine now. Finders keepers and all that,” James sighed, nuzzling into Teddy’s chest as if gearing up to hibernate.

Teddy barked out a laugh. “You’re a menace, James Potter.”

“Mmm, but I’m your menace now. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it. You’re stuck with me.”

“Am I now?” Teddy asked, settling back into their previous positions as one hand immediately found its way into James’s hair and the other around his waist.

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

“Better keep you forever then,” Teddy whispered, pulling him close and kissing the top of his head.

“Sounds good to me,” James answered, settling his palm flat on Teddy’s chest. He wasn’t in the least bit tired, and since James had begun to play what felt like tic tac toe between his nipples, then neither was James, and yet Teddy couldn’t recall a time when he had felt more relaxed. 

Logically Teddy’s sense of calm made no sense. Everything in his life was about to change. He had no idea exactly how their relationship was going to work, or how the wizarding world would react to finding out they were together. Or Harry. Shit, they had to tell Harry before someone else did. And yet despite the unknowns piling up before him all Teddy could feel was happiness. Whatever was about to come, and whatever firsts he might now experience, he knew he’d have James at his side. And James would have him.

“Your thinking is loud,” James whispered a minute later as he pressed a kiss to the center of Teddy’s chest. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“No, Jamie, I’m not,” Teddy answered, thumb brushing across James’s forehead to soothe away the worry wrinkles. 

“I’m just happy. Really happy,” Teddy told him. And it was the truth. 

“Me too,” James said, pressing his face into Teddy’s shoulder and exhaling slowly. His next words mumbled into Teddy’s skin. “Fuck, me too.”

Teddy’s future had never felt more uncertain, and yet Teddy had never in his life felt more unburdened or happier. He closed his eyes and focused on the audible thud of James’s heart beating against his own and relished in the feeling.

Teddy tightened his hold on James, planting a kiss to the top of his head as he squeezed James around the middle.

Teddy didn’t know exactly what the future held besides James, and for once that was more than enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goldentruth813)


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